The Blotter 

Absurd crimes from the local police files.

It's not quite the emergency, is it? A man at Platinum Plus on January 28th owed a dancer $40 for a two-for-one dance, but when he gave her a $100 bill, she kept it. He complained to the manager and got $20 back, but that wasn't enough so he called 911.

The operator informed him that it was a civil matter; he filed a police report to prosecute the club and the manager.

Like taking candles from a baby: On January 30th, a teacher at Peabody Elementary School reported a theft after her students raised $740 by selling candles. The teacher gave a suspect money for the candles, but the so-called buyer told the teacher the candle company was closed for the holidays. Later the suspect told her that the order came in, but everything was broken. The teacher finally called the candle company and was told no one had even placed the order.

That's not how the Boy Scouts do it: On February 1st, police responded to an arson call on Handy Mall: "Someone had taken two smoke detectors from the apartment, placed them in the oven, then turned it on. Someone had also taken clothing, put it in the bathtub, and poured a flammable liquid" on it.

Sometimes those free-trial offers don't work: A man walking on North Watkins on February 1st was stopped by an older male trying to sell him a pistol. The older man handed the gun to him to check it out, but while the younger man was looking it over, he accidentally shot himself in the hand. The older man then grabbed the gun and ran away. -- Compiled by Mary Cashiola

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