The Cheat Sheet 

A bird's nest in a Memphis Light, Gas & Water substation somehow causes a short circuit that not only cuts power to several thousand homes in Midtown but turns off traffic signals, too. Any day now, we expect to hear that our power has been cut off because the hamsters stopped running around in their little wheels.

We suppose this could only happen

click to enlarge GREG CRAVENS
in Memphis. A man arrested for armed robbery is allowed to attend his trial while wearing an Eddie Bauer shopping bag over his head. His attorney, as we understand it, thought this would give his client a better chance in court, since the victim of the crime could not identify him. Look, we know all about that "innocent until proven guilty" thing, but if the guy were truly innocent, why would he put a bag over his head? And how do the folks at Eddie Bauer feel about the whole thing? Flattered?

Someone slings paint across a billboard on Madison for Black Snake Moan. It seems everybody is a critic these days. But what kind of vandal uses beige paint? Did they just have some left over after painting their den? The billboard, by the way, was quickly replaced.

The University of Memphis Tigers win the Conference USA tournament with convincing victories over their opponents. Congratulations to Coach Cal and his team. Now, maybe some of that luck will rub off on that other basketball team in town. Maybe.

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