The Rant 

I don't know about anyone else, but I feel much better now that the United States government and its president, in particular, have changed the law so that the illegal wiretapping they were doing for so long is now legal — as long as we, as American citizens, happen to be talking or e-mailing back and forth with someone from another country, whether they are a suspected terrorist or not. If you don't think we are in perilous times, with the threat of terrorism on our own homeland shores looming, and that perilous times like these require special measures to keep us safe, you are simply naive. In fact, if you were a true American patriot you would just volunteer to have devices placed in your phone and computer that would automatically relay your foreign correspondence to a computer in the White House. As a matter of fact, you should even be willing to do that with your domestic phone calls and e-mails. Who knows what people right here in the country might be plotting? I'm telling you, things need to change if we are to continue to be a free and safe nation. Ditto with the idea of selling the Saudis $20 billion worth of arms. Certainly, there are going to be those who will point out that most of the people on the planes during 9/11 were Saudis, as is Osama bin Laden. And certainly there are those who are going to question whether or not it's a good idea to place that much more weaponry in a region where there is already so much of it — and so much of it being used to try to destroy the United States. And certainly there are going to be those whining politicians and pundits who'll speculate that the sale of arms to the Saudis will generate plenty of income for a select few here at home and in power. But don't listen to them. More weapons in the Middle East might just be the solution to all of the problems over there. But back to this idea of domestic terrorism: I pray every single minute of my life that I don't become a target of terrorism. I worry about it all the time. It's really all I think about. Every time a car passes me in traffic I pray that it doesn't explode near me. And I wouldn't dare ever get on another airplane because there's no telling who might have, say, a block of Vermont cheddar cheese with a cell phone charger hooked up to it with the plan of blowing up the plane. And do you think people really don't try to sneak shampoo and mascara onto planes? Come on. Wake up. What kind of fool's paradise are you living in? I've seen them at airports. They try to look like average, everyday citizens either on business trips or family vacations — with children! Ha! That's one of the biggest threats of all. People with children acting like they are just traveling to visit relatives. Have you ever noticed how they act when the security folks want to scan or search baby strollers? Yep, they don't like it. They think they are being bothered. Now, there are some people who are willing to strip and have flashlights shined into their anal cavities and be detained for hours and miss their connecting flights because they believe that the extra security measures are making them much safer. I see on the news all the time stories about flights being delayed and I really do admire them. They are the ones who are willing to do anything it takes to help keep the United States from being the target of terrorism again. Like me, a true patriot, they probably have no problem at all with their phones being wiretapped and their personal e-mails being sent to a big computer and read. They are smart enough to know this is a new day and age and that it was pretty smart and wise of the president to force the enactment of a new law that makes something he was doing that was illegal suddenly legal. I was really scared for a while that this new Democrat-controlled Congress would balk at things like this and that they would try to change things, but by passing this law for the president, they've made me confident that they aren't going to challenge him on anything of importance, and I am so relieved. I feel fairly confident now that they won't do anything stupid, like cut the funding for the Iraq war and try to start bringing any of the troops home anytime soon. All that talk about "change" was making me pretty nervous, given the fact that if we don't stay in Iraq forever, we will all die right here on our homeland soil in a matter of years, maybe months. But with the presidential campaign coming up next year and Bush not allowed to run again, I'm not sure how things are going to pan out and I am starting to worry more every day about my safety. Maybe, if it's not too late, Dick Cheney will throw his hat in the ring and join the race. I think four years with him as president of the United States would be the best thing that could possibly happen. I don't care how expensive gas gets or if he gets a kickback from the energy and oil companies. I just want to feel safe again when I go to Wal-Mart in my SUV, which is my God-given right as a citizen of the United States. And if you disagree with that, you are completely and totally un-American and on the side of the terrorists.

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      It’s time to take action to stop the flood of immigrants illegally crossing our border, eh?

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