The Rant 

I just found what could be the best website I've

ever seen. Well, the second best. My favorite is freedomswatch.org.

It's one of those ultraconservative sites that constantly posts press releases and blog comments about how the liberals in the United States are all ax murderers and how Barack Obama is trying to

win the presidency so he can bring Iranian governmental practices with him to the White House. I've even signed up to receive notices from the site. Of course, I don't think they realize that the name I gave them — Phil McCrackin — is not my real name. (I guess you do have to read it fairly carefully.) But I love it when they send me notes that begin with "Dear Phil McCrackin." I always want to reply with "Oh, dear, someone needs to fill your crack in." But I never do because I don't want to blow my cover. No, this new site I've found is newsbusters.org and it's pretty great. It's mainly focusing now on all of the ways the Republicans are trying to lower the price of gas, although there's never been a mention of taking on the very oil companies that are ripping us off. There's lots and lots of news on there about Obama trying to bring "race" into the campaign. I may be stupid but, uh, how can race not be an issue when we have a black man running for office for the first time in the country's history and there are going to be thousands of people not voting for him simply because of his race? Yeah, it's ugly, but it's true. The site is currently bound and determined to prove that John Edwards fathered a baby recently with a woman other than his wife. They don't mention anything about John McCain screwing around with other women while married to his first wife and actually leaving her (once she was injured badly in a car wreck but wouldn't let anyone let him know while he was a P.O.W. so as not to worry him) for Cindy, the wife to whom he is married now. Why is it that McCain can have a mistress and leave his wife for her and none of the conservatives out there seem to think a thing about it? Or maybe they do and I'm just not paying attention, which I really don't do that much anymore — to any of this political crap. Hey, you conservative evangelical peeps out there: Do you care that John McCain was cheating on his wife and left her to marry his mistress? I really want to know. Write a letter to the editor and explain that one for me. Address it to Phil McCrackin! But back to newsbusters.org. It's not just the news on the site that is entertaining. They have perhaps the best political T-shirt selection I have ever seen. They have a T-shirt bearing an image of Ann Coulter with a quote from her about 9/11 and how we should invade all Muslim countries, kill their leaders, and convert them all to Christianity. It's pretty awesome. Not quite as awesome, however, as the T-shirt reading "I'D RATHER BE WATERBOARDING." Now, I think it would be very difficult to top that and I might just get one to wear to the next gun show that comes to Memphis. Oh, they have some good gun-themed shirts too. One has an illustration of about 20 different kinds of guns under which are big letters that read "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY." It's a real gem. One of my favorites on the site is the "99 PERCENT OF ALL DEMOCRATS GIVE THE REST OF THEM A BAD NAME" T-shirt. They even have T-shirts for babies ("HELP. TED KENNEDY DRIVES ME TO DAYCARE") and T-shirts for dogs ("I BITE LIBERALS"). I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they have shirts with images of Obama and Paris Hilton saying "WE'RE FAMOUS!" At any rate, I am glad I ran across the site and I hope you will visit it soon. If you're feeling down, you will always know there is someone else out there who has it worse!

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

News Blog

Sierra Club Protests Trump's EPA Choice

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Memphis Comedy Bad, Bad Men Premieres on Amazon Video

Hungry Memphis

Cafe Brooks Debuts, etc.

News Blog

Redbirds Rebrand

News Blog

Memphis Pets of the Week (Jan. 19-25)

News Blog

Rape Kit Backlog Testing to Finish This Year

From My Seat

Inauguration Day: Then and Now

Politics Beat Blog

Cohen Won't Attend Trump Inauguration

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Tim Sampson

Readers also liked…

  • Nixon & Trump

    Millennials shouldn’t repeat the mistake the Baby Boomers made.
    • Aug 11, 2016
  • Mr. Tangerine Man

    In an effort to avoid politics, Randy writes about his new cat.
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • Congrats, Bristol!

    A letter to Bristol Palin upon hearing the news of her pregnancy.
    • Jul 2, 2015
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation