The Rant 

I am going to file a complaint against myself. I'm not

sure how or why or to whom, but I'm going to file one. For some

reason, Sarah "Betchabygollywow" Palin has done this in her home state of Alaska and it's working fairly well so far at keeping her from having to answer questions in the investigation she is trying to stall

into whether or not she abused her power as governor when she fired public safety commissioner Walt Monegan for not firing her sister's ex-husband, Alaska state trooper Mike Wooten.

I'll admit I don't really understand it completely. Apparently, it has something to do with a legislative investigation versus a state personnel board investigation, and now it appears that Palin might have tampered with her ex-brother-in-law's worker's compensation (which was denied after he was in an accident while on duty and hurt his back). A Freedom of Information Act request from the legislative investigators for e-mails from Palin's personal Yahoo account (which she apparently misused to conduct state business, thereby keeping her actions secret, or so she hoped) was met with an answer from her office: something to the tune of yes, we'll turn over the e-mails, but it's going to cost you $88,000 for the paper documents.

Hmmm. What are they using in their printer? Hand-crafted parchment made from near-extinct sheep? Probably. Any action to endanger living things seems to be fine with the Palins. Look at their house. There are more heads on the walls than a wig warehouse. I wonder if they used the same taxidermist for all those animals as they used to stuff John McCain. He looks so lifelike, until he opens his mouth. It's then obvious that he is really dead and there's a tape machine installed in him that channels Ronald Reagan.

But I digress and fall into smear tactics. We wouldn't want that to happen now, would we? I think it's great that Sarah Pail is trying to deflect her ailin' and flailin' about her probably illegal e-mailin' by assailin' Barack Obama about something that happened when he was 8 years old and studying reading, writing, and arithmetic without failin', which I guess is why he is now "elite," instead of dumbed down like Palin. And the way she prides herself on this knowledge of his "terrorist ties" by reading about it in "my copy of The New York Times" as a way of trying to rebound from her idiotic remark to Katie Couric that reflected the fact that she doesn't read newspapers is priceless. It's so contrived and desperate and humiliating, it's almost charming in a very, very weird way.

But then, everything about her is weird. Just before sitting down to write this, I watched her give a speech in Clearwater, Florida, which has my brain so scrambled that I might be making much less sense here than even Palin does when she non-answers a question. I was not really paying attention to her or what she was saying because I just can't listen to that voice (I mean, I'm not making fun here; I really can't hear it without scouring around searching for pills of some sort), but I was mesmerized by her crowd of supporters. If there was one black person in that entire crowd of people, he or she was hiding and doing a great job of it. I mean it. See if any of it is on YouTube yet. Or see if any of her speeches are on there and see if there is one black person anywhere in sight. Do we really want another Great White Hope for any reason in the United States in this century? Of course, it may be that she has very few African-American supporters. Imagine that. Oh. Wait. I forgot. Race is not an issue in this election. Please excuse me. I'd best file an ethics complaint against myself to keep from having to answer any gosh darn questions about that one, ya know? But that is going to take some more research into the trailer-park saga of Sarah Palin's attack on her ex-brother-in-law. Unless, of course, all of that comes out when her aides and her husband stop breaking the law this week and abide by the subpoenas that were issued to them to comply by answering questions in the investigation. It could be an interesting showdown, but then again, it could have the same outcome as all of the investigations into the administration of their buddy, George W. Bush: more of the same old game of getting away with anything they want. I just hope no polar bears or wolves get killed in the process.

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