The Rant 

I realize it's an election year and election years are always pretty ugly, and I know that I tend to get caught up in conspiracy-theory fever (I'll always believe the government had John Kennedy and Martin Luther King murdered), but this all-out, over-the-top movement underway to get rid of Barack Obama is getting really scary. How is it that these right-wing billionaires can create these Super Pacs with more money in some of them than the total amount spent by both candidates in the 2008 election? Can you just buy the White House now? I guess so.

But then I don't understand a lot of things, like why everyone still blames the economic downturn on Obama. All these tea baggers can yammer on about is how Obama is taking food from the mouths of babies, when they know for a fact that he inherited the mess from the previous administration and has been doing everything he can to make it better. And I am sick of hearing them talk about him not creating jobs. The president does not create jobs. The private sector creates jobs. And I wasn't at all surprised at his remark about the private sector being just fine because it is. They're just not hiring people because they want to make him look bad so come November they can get a white guy back in office and sit back and be smug and comfortable again. Sorry, had to say it.

And no, Obama's not perfect. Guantanamo is still open, which is a genuine shame. While he personally supports gay marriage, he's not doing anything to make it universally legal in this country. But at least he ended "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" and he ended the war in Iraq and he's getting ready to end the war in Afghanistan and he hasn't started any new wars and you can bet that there are a lot of companies that depend on war that are going to do everything they can do to keep him from being reelected this fall.

I wish that for a month everyone in America had the exact same amount of money in the bank, no debt, and no complicated stock portfolios. That includes the John Paulsons of the world (Mitt Romney's BFF and the one with all the billions sliding his way) and all of the senators and congressmen who alter their portfolios based on what they know is coming down the economic pike and everyone who is without work. I'd love for one month to not be inundated with story after story and argument after argument about money. I'd love it if everyone had enough to buy what they needed, not what they wanted, and no credit cards to buy crap they don't need and get in even worse shape and just chill the freak out. I think that might make me a Communist, but it would be great to see everyone on an even playing field for once and let the news be about changing social issues and things that don't revolve around the dollar, job growth, credit rating, corrupt corporations, the euro, the Dow, Standard & Poor's, the NYSE, growth versus austerity, and all the other financial issues with which so many people are obsessed.

I don't have anything against wealthy people. I have good friends who are very wealthy (thank goodness they are the good folks who give heartily to nonprofits to help make the world a better place). I don't have any problem with Mitt Romney being rich. I don't have a problem with John Paulson being rich. I just have a problem with them trying to buy the presidency of the United States.

Now, let me see what I can do to be more of a left-wing, feminist, stem-cell-research-loving, gay-marriage-loving, immigration-law-hating liberal. Don't you wish I were the president? Man, things would change. Heads would roll. No one could have the Super Pacs. Pot would be legal. Anyone from other countries who wanted to live here could get citizenship without having to jump through a million hoops. There would be no tax on food. Animal cruelty would be the most highly punishable crime. It would be law that women earn the same as men for doing the same work. Oil companies couldn't jack up the price of gas anytime they like and blame it on supply and demand, and all car manufacturers would have to produce very affordable hybrid cars. People over 60 wouldn't have to have a photo I.D. to vote. The presidential election cycle from now on would last exactly six weeks and there would be only televised debates instead of a zillion television ads. Everyone would have access to free mental health care if they needed it. Hell, all health care would be free and efficient.

Doesn't it all sound great? The country would probably totally collapse and fall into a state of chaos, but wouldn't it be cool to try it just once?


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