The Rant 

If I were African-American, Latino, or female, I would be very worried right now. Well, even as a middle-aged white dude, I am worried. If Thurston Howell III and Eddie Munster (aka Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan) should happen to win this presidential election and they and the GOP at large have their way, we're going to be set back at least 100 years, because it appears they are clinging to what is left of white, male-dominated America and will do anything to save it. But I think and hope it's already too late for that.

At least until the inauguration next year in January, Latino youths who were brought here undocumented and not responsible for it have a chance to get work permits and documents that keep them from getting deported, thanks to President Obama's Consideration of Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals executive order. Is it perfect? No, but it's a good move and at least a temporary safety net to keep them here. If Romney and Ryan are elected, they will be out the door and back across the border, even though they grew up here and are as American as anyone else.

In many counties in Florida, African Americans can no longer early-vote on Sundays, which was their traditional "Souls to the Polls" activity after church. The Florida GOP legislature just up and banned it, as well as reducing the number of early-voting days from 12 to eight. Why? So fewer African Americans can vote to reelect an African-American president. Yes, it is that simple. With white America dwindling, they are doing everything they can to keep their precious ship (can anyone say, "Mayflower"?) from sinking. Same with all of the states, including Tennessee, that now, all of a sudden, require photo IDs to vote, which is a blatant move to keep the elderly, African-Americans, and the poor from voting. Yes, it is that simple.

I am surprised that Romney and Ryan are being so blatantly anti-woman in such a close election and not pandering to them to get their votes. Instead, Romney has vowed to overturn Roe v. Wade if elected and Ryan voted against equal pay for women. AGAINST equal pay for women? Or at least to change the law that would alter statutes of limitations on discrimination cases in favor of women who are doing the exact same work as men but getting paid less. Uh, uh, uh, Congressman Ryan? Are you hooked on Leave It to Beaver?

I have nothing against either guy personally. They both seem like really decent family men and all that. But if they should get elected, I'm afraid they're going to open a Pandora's box of white male rules and regulations that will make the rest of the country feel so downtrodden that it really will set America back.

Of course, the world as we know it could come to an end in October, in which case all of the millions and millions of dollars both sides are spending on their campaigns will have been for naught. Some end-time believers contend that there will be some kind of positive spiritual change and a new era for earthlings. If that's the case, we know Romney and Ryan will lose in November. Others think there's going to be some kind of major disaster or collision with a giant meteor or another planet on December 21st, which would really mess up holiday retail sales for the big-box stores and would be especially harmful to the lemmings who will already be camped out there to get the next big technological toy. Can you imagine sleeping in the parking lot of Best Buy waiting to get that special new gadget and looking up to see another planet coming right at you? Or can you just imagine sleeping in the parking lot of Best Buy at all, for any reason? I can't.

So I think when the presidential debates begin (the GOP is already crying about the moderators being "liberals," probably because there's a female moderator for the first time in 20 years and they're afraid she might ask them some liberal question about women getting paid the same as men for doing the same job), both candidates should be asked about what they would do if society as we know it either ends or changes drastically four days before Christmas.

Romney/Ryan: "Well, that would be a terrible day for white Christians and since they are all we really care about we would have special operations in place to help them. Everyone else has to go to Mexico or just fend for themselves."

Obama: "It would be bad for everyone and yes, I still support gay marriage and would like to see Mitt's tax returns before that happens."

Romney: "I've already told 'you people' I am not releasing any more returns. And I'll be at my Swiss bank when this happens so you just leave me alone and quit asking for them. I won't release any more. I won't, I won't, I won't! Now look, you've made one of my hairs get out of place."

Ryan: "And I wish everyone would stop saying I look like Eddie Munster!"


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