Hmm. Seems that this issue of the Flyer is focusing on politics and the upcoming election. And it looks like things are getting pretty interesting. Sex scandals and drug overdoses and day-care scandals and sealed lawsuits and accusations of backroom deals concerning the new NBA arena. Looks like there s plenty of juicy stuff out there, even if we are being deprived of all the great details. And while he is not running in this year s election, the answer I want to know is: Who stole longtime mayoral candidate Prince Mongo s stuffed moose head, which, he says, came from a moose shot by Calvin Coolidge? A moose head on the roof of Mongo s new East Memphis residence, complete with a yellow streamer in its mouth and a mannequin head between its antlers. There on the roof to protect the neighborhood, with the spirit of his home planet of Zambodia emanating from the glass eyes to make sure nothing bad goes down over on Colonial Road. Who would do such a thing? I say we look at the past records of some of our prominent politicians and launch a thorough investigation. Maybe the home of city councilwoman Pat VanderSchaaf should be searched. Perhaps she got her hands on some pain pills -- under the influence of which she said she shoplifted that wallet from Marshall s out in Raleigh -- and just felt the need to scale the walls in the middle of the night and take the taxidermied head for her own house. Nah, even in the dark, that orange hair would have been seen. I also tend to believe she is innocent on this one, and I will continue to cherish my Free Pat VanderSchaaf bumper sticker. Maybe it was Councilman Ricky Peete. Have all the floors beneath the booths at all the local Shoney s been checked out? Kind of hard to get a stuffed moose head under there, but, hey, where there s a will, there s a way. Or how about Tamara Mitchell-Ford, ex-wife of our esteemed state Sen. John Ford? Maybe she took it to use as a hood ornament on her Jaguar to drive through another home of one of Senator Ford s girlfriends, as she did in Collierville not long ago. It would certainly be a lot scarier to have a giant moose head crash through the French doors and come at your face than just a plain old car. Maybe that was the family emergency Ford had to tend to when he disappeared from legislative meetings, missing a vote that could have kept the state government from shutting down. Or perhaps it was Republican gubernatorial candidate Van Hilleary, needing to sell the moose head to pay for grammar lessons because he makes so many grammatical mistakes in his television commercial, which is all about education. And has anyone else noticed that his voice sounds strikingly similar to Delta Burke s? Icky. Whoever stole the moose head, please give yourself up and face the music. I know that when my poor little cat goes to the giant Fancy Feast Flaked Trout Dinner in the sky and I have her stuffed and turned into a table lamp with a switch that makes her eyes light up, if anyone dares to try to make off with it, there s gonna be a mighty high price to pay.
In the meantime, here s a brief look at what s going on around town this week. Today, of course, continues the Stax Music Academy Grand Opening with Community Day Down in Soulsville, with a live broadcast by the WRBO 103.5 Soul Patrol from 6 a.m. to 3 p.m. and tours of the academy during those same hours. So come on down and get down and see the museum and help celebrate one of the best things that has ever happened for the children of Memphis. Tonight s Scream Tour II at the Mid-South Coliseum features performances by Lil Bow Wow, B2K, and IMX. The Memphis Redbirds play Las Vegas tonight at AutoZone Park. American Deathray Music, The Pretty Girls, and Fireball Rocket are at the Hi-Tone. And last but certainly not least, The Keith Sykes Songwriters Showcase starts at 8 p.m. tonight at the Lounge, followed by the legendary Levon Helm & The Barnburners.