WE RECOMMEND (THE COMPASSIONATE PART) 

WE RECOMMEND (THE COMPASSIONATE PART)

Ya know, I have written this column more than 500 times, and there are weeks when there’s just not much to say. This is one of those weeks. Yeah, the Bush daughters are probably good material, but I feel sorry for them. The nickname jokes (“Jen” and “Tonic”) are pretty good. The old what do you call President Bush’s daughter in a quarry -- Jen on the rocks -- isn’t bad, either. I did love Julia Roberts’ comments about not giving them a hard time because they are George Bush’s daughters and have that cross to bear. I knew she was a person of compassion. But I really do feel sorry for them, in a way. They really can’t help being born into that family and shouldn’t be blamed for simply being the Bush twins. Sure, they could have fled and changed their identities, but they chose to stick it out and make the best of it. And they are just college girls trying to have a good time. But trying to buy a drink with someone else’s ID? C’mon, Jen. You can do better than that. Trying to tie one on with an ID bearing someone else’s photo isn’t going to land you in the hallowed company of rocket scientists. Don’t be such a redneck. You must become a little more creative than that. You are, after all, the daughter of the president of the United States. Why not just keep some booze around the house? Dad can’t read the label, so just put the hooch in there with your toiletries and leave it at that. Get a flask. Get one of those water bottles cyclists use and fill ‘er up with whatever poison strikes your fancy. It’s all about NOT GETTING CAUGHT. And now I’m tired of writing about that. Did anyone else see the photo of Sally Struthers on the front page of USA Today last week as she attended Carroll O’Connor’s funeral? How cruel was that? Having been on a diet since the age of 7 and knowing how difficult it is to lose weight, I understand the trials and tribulations of the force of gravity and the toll it takes on one’s high school figure, so I feel for her too. My suggestion is stay out from in front of the camera and brush your hair once in a while. Keep up the good work you do for kids or animals or whatever it is, but take that loot from the rerun royalties and have a little work done here and there. It’s not a sin. Poor Sally. And now I’m tired of writing about that. In fact, I’m just plain old tired. Tired as George Bush in debate class. Tired as Jenna Bush at an O’Doul’s convention. Tired, tired, tired.

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
    • The Cosby Show

      After decades of playing the affable good guy, reality may finally be catching up to America’s favorite father figure.
    • Avoiding the Crutch

      Name-calling and labeling each other “racist” only compounds our problems.
    • Bicycling Bias?

      A recent report on the skewed benefits of bike lanes has Memphis progressives spinning their wheels in protest.

Blogs

Hungry Memphis

Raw Girls Launches Food Truck

News Blog

Candidates Sought For Council Vacancy

Calling the Bluff

Don Trip is a "Man on the Moon"

News Blog

Riverside Drive Bike Lane Named In Top 10 List

News Blog

Memphis' Logan Guleff Wins MasterChef Junior

Calling the Bluff

Starlito Connects with Don Trip, Yo Gotti for New Track

News Blog

Pension Reform Gets Council Approval

Beyond the Arc

Next Day Notes: Grizzlies 105, Warriors 98

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Tim Sampson

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2014

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Memphis Business Quarterly
Powered by Foundation