Beauty and the Beast opens at The Orpheum tonight. String Cheese Incident is playing at the Mud Island Amphitheater. And there's some Black Light Karaoke going on at Madison Flame. And that, as they say, is that. As always, I really don't care what you do this week, and unless you can get Martha Stewart to host a very special cooking show on the different ways to make stock, I'm sure I don't want to meet you. Besides, it's time for me to blow this joint and see if I can find out more details on the buttocks-mutilation case in Alabama. So far, the reporting has been pretty half-assed.