It’s often stated that religion and politics should never be discussed at an establishment that includes a happy hour, a bar stool, or a last call. Combined with diverse viewpoints, passionate beliefs, and, ahem, diarrhea of the mouth, these inebriated exchanges can grow hostile. If you’re thirsty for a more casual, lighthearted conversation, spice up your discussion with a Bloody Mary.
The history of the Bloody Mary is questionable. The recipe for the perfect Bloody Mary is debatable. The hangover healing powers of the Bloody Mary are laughable. But the reason we drink a Bloody Mary is undeniable: It’s a guilt-free way to get our buzz on before noon. It’s the only cocktail that hydrates us, nourishes us, and doesn’t judge us for drinking early.
As with most alcohol-inspired stories throughout history, the details of the origin of the Bloody Mary are hazy at best. Most historians attribute the drink’s creation to a bartender named Fernan Patio from Harry’s New York Bar in Paris. During the 1920s, he allegedly mixed vodka with tomato juice and called it the Bucket of Blood. Fast-forward to post-Prohibition in 1930s New York, the cocktail would evolve. Spices, Tabasco sauce, horseradish, and lemon were added to what would later become a staple at every brunch in America.
One theory is that the drink was named after Queen Mary I of England, who, because of her unique style of persecuting Protestants, was affectionately known as Bloody Mary. Others attribute the name to a waitress named Mary at the Chicago Bucket of Blood Club. Either way, the name stuck with people like a stray piece of toilet paper on the bottom of their shoe after they left the bathroom of their local saloon.
If you were to ask 100 bartenders how to make the perfect Bloody Mary, you’ll get 200 different answers. The classic hole-in-the-wall bartender is quick to reach for their favorite brand of mix and just add vodka. But mixologists (aka bartenders who take themselves too seriously) have secret recipes for their homemade tomato juices.
The garnishes are a matter of personal preference. A piece of celery was inserted into the original versions to help customers stir the drink. Plastic straws weren’t around and apparently it never occurred to anyone to just use their index finger. Modern-day Bloodys are often paired with anything that will fit in the glass: raw vegetables, green olives, blue-cheese-stuffed olives, pickles, jalapeno peppers, cherry tomatoes, parsley, and the list goes on.
To the carnivores reading this, open up and say, “ahhh,” for the Marys with bacon, sausage, shrimp, lobster, and maybe a whole hamburger. For those, you’ll probably need a to-go box, or a cardiologist. It begs the question, “How did we go from tomato juice and vodka to a Golden Corral buffet?”
The real reason for the Bloody Mary’s longevity is that it’s the ultimate hangover helper, the hair of the dog. We’ve all been there. First thing in the morning, we can barely open our eyes. There are stamps on both our hands. The toilet bowl is more comfortable than LeBron James’ favorite hotel room. The fresh fruit and vegetable concoction may sound like a healthy remedy. But it’s alcohol’s main element, ethanol, that will cancel out the over-abundance of methanol. We think. We’re not scientists, we’re drinkers.
Love it or hate it, the Bloody Mary is a cocktail icon. Are the stories around the history of the Bloody Mary true? It’s possible. Do I make the best Bloody Mary? Maybe. Can a Bloody Mary cure a hangover? That’s a possible maybe. Is it acceptable to drink vodka and tomato juice before 10 a.m.? Absolutely, as in Absolut Vodka with my Bloody Mary, please and thanks.
Buddy Jones is a longtime Memphis bartender and comedian who hosts a weekly comedy night at Peoples on Beale.