News of the Weird: Week of 09/10/26

Crime Report

Everette Krichbaum, 52, and James Gay, 35, are charged with aggravated battery after wielding a hatchet and a machete, respectively, during an altercation in a Publix parking lot in Panama City, Florida, The Smoking Gun reported on August 7th. According to the police report, Gay admitted to parking next to Krichbaum and approaching his vehicle for a confrontation over “prior issues.” During the dispute, Krichbaum brandished a hatchet “in an attempt to deter” Gay. In response, Gay went back to his vehicle, pulled out a machete, and struck Krichbaum in the face with it. By the time police arrived, they say each man had injuries on his hands, and Krichbaum sustained further injuries after Gay struck him unconscious. The pair were treated at a local hospital before being taken into custody. [The Smoking Gun, 8/7/26]

Statue Liberated

Greg Gatwood of San Francisco was doing yard work when he came across what he thought was a small stone slab. But as he dug, he discovered the object was actually a 2-foot-wide, 150-pound statue, NBC Bay Area reported on August 10th. His partner, artist Judy Gittelsohn, consulted with local experts and is working to determine if the statue is the work of renowned San Francisco sculptor Ralph Stackpole, who died in 1973, or perhaps one of his students. The couple’s house is located near what used to be the sculpture department of the California School of Fine Arts — now known as the San Francisco Art Institute — where Stackpole taught. [NBC Bay Area, 8/10/26]

That’ll Stop Traffic 

Rush hour traffic was shut down for two hours in Washington, D.C., on the morning of August 12th after a suspicious device with exposed wires — which turned out to be an adult toy — was reported outside a fire station, WUSA9 reported. A witness said they saw someone place a suspicious package in a trash can near the station in a northwest D.C. neighborhood, and police say that the person who threw the item away approached someone at the firehouse before tossing the contraband. When police arrived, they closed local streets for nearly two hours while they investigated. Eventually the item was determined to be an “electronic sex portable pump device,” according to the police report. Police cleared the scene and traffic resumed around 9 a.m. [WUSA9, 08/12/26]

Vanishing Goats 

A pair of pygmy goats boarded a bus in Portland, Oregon, during the busy Tuesday morning commute, Oregon Live reported on August 12th. Security footage shows them leaving the bus after being shooed out by passengers, then wandering into a nearby shopping center, but police were unable to locate them when they arrived on the scene. “So where did they come from? Where were they going? Did they have valid fare?” The Tri-County Metropolitan Transportation District of Oregon said in a social media post. “Some questions may never be answered.” [Oregon Live, 8/12/26]

Mystery Cats 

Two-dimensional cat cutouts have popped up in vacant lots in Cape Coral, Florida, Gulf Coast News reported on August 11th. One of the lots has a burrowing owl nest, leading nearby volunteers at the Cape Coral Friends of Wildlife to suspect the cutouts were erected in an attempt to deter the owls from making more nests there. Cats are a main predator of burrowing owls, who are protected by the federal Migratory Bird Treaty Act. Furthermore, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission classifies the owls as “threatened,” and it is illegal to disturb their nests without a special permit. [Gulf Coast News, 8/11/26]

NEWS OF THE WEIRD
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