Friday, June 10, 2005

Hillary for President?

Not unless the Democratic Party has a secret death wish.

Posted on Fri, Jun 10, 2005 at 4:00 AM

What the hell are top Democrats doing playing footsy with Hillary Clinton? Do they have a secret death pact we dont know about? If they want to lose a third general election in a row, go ahead, run Hillary for president of the United States of America.
The reasons not to do such a thing are obvious to anyone not drinking the Clintonite Kool-Aid. Let me list just the ones that roll off the top of my not-so-bright head:
Hillary Moonies cite recent polls showing that likely Democrat voters would vote for Hillary if she ran. Yes, this is true ‹ but why? The answer is not reassuring. Its because the less voters see and hear of Hillary the more they like her. Which means the converse is true as well. Just get her out on the national campaign trail, on the news every night, in dozens of ads on TV, and in nationally televised debates and watch those poll numbers plummet. I will bet my first-born on it. Hillary grates on people. Maybe thats unfair. But its still true.
Hillary has triangulated herself into irrelevance with her hawkish support for the war in Iraq. She did this in order to show she could be tough, just like a man. All she really proved was that she could be a conniving politician, just like men.
Alls fair in love, war, and politics. So expect all that Kenneth Starr crap about the Clintons to make a big comeback. I know that Starr and his Dark Side minions failed to prove most of the allegations, but the Clintons own sloppy ethics provided the very fuel on which the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy ran. If Hillary runs for president, the Swift Boat Veterans will be back in a new form. They will pound her relentlessly. Unfair? You bet. Go tell it to John Kerry.
Finally, theres Bill. Imagine Bill as first husband, rambling around the east wing of the White House with nothing but time on his hands. How long would it be ‹ days, weeks, a month? ‹ before the stories about White House maids getting made began? Then the nation and the world will be again treated to four years of Live From the White House ‹ The Jerry Springer Show!
Look, I loved Clintons domestic policies. Hell, I profited from them. They were the best years of my life financially. They were the best years the nation had seen in decades. The trouble was that Bill Clinton is not one person, but three.
Theres Bill the Brilliant, who balanced the federal budget, built a giant surplus that could have been used to repair Social Security, reformed welfare, and kept us out of stupid-ass wars.
Theres Bill the Self-Indulgent, who could not resist exploiting the aphrodisiac of power on female targets of opportunity. The Bill that played with the truth like a cat plays with a mouse. The Bill who faced the world on TV as the bad little boy making lame excuses after being caught red-handed misbehaving.
Finally ‹ and more to the point ‹ theres Bill/Hillary, the package deal. They are co-dependents and mutual enablers. Bill has been president, and Hillary is not a bit interested in vying against Laura Bush and Nancy Reagan for the top slot at the First Lady Hall of Fame. She wants to be Americas first woman president. Even serial marital infidelity, exposed in fine detail to the entire world, could not break the bonds of this union. Its a Bonnie and Clyde relationship. Right or wrong, they will go down together, fighting. And they always attract a fight.
So, dont do it, Democrats. Instead of wasting time on Hillary, you should be searching right now for inspirational candidates. By the time the 08 general election rolls around, Bushs policies will have created such ruin, pain, and embarrassment that voters will be starved for a real statesman. Someone who can do for post-Bush America what Roosevelt did for post-Hoover America.
If the best the Democratic Party has to offer voters in 08 turns out to be Hillary Clinton, they deserve to lose ‹ again.
Stephen Pizzo is the author of numerous books, including Inside Job: The Looting of Americas Savings and Loans, which was nominated for a Pulitzer.

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