Thursday, April 30, 2015

Everything is Awesome: Meet Lego Jason Miles

Posted By on Thu, Apr 30, 2015 at 11:27 AM

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Fly on the Wall has chronicled the many faces of WMC's excitable news reporter Jason Miles

We've shown you Jason Miles under a car

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We've shown you Jason Miles under a car on a cake.

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Now, fresh from his Twitter profile, here's Lego Jason Miles.

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Will some less lazy person please photoshop this Jason under a car? Please?

Midtown Woman Furious MPD Won’t Find Her Glasses

Posted By on Thu, Apr 30, 2015 at 10:50 AM

Cute, right?
  • Cute, right?
Crosstown — Ariya Mann says someone has stolen her new bifocals and the Memphis Police Department won’t even take her report.

“It's shocking,' Mann said. "They just look at me and laugh. Right in my face. They tell me to go home and look in the mirror and things like that. One officer even had the audacity to say, ‘Miss Mann, nobody’s stolen your glasses,’ when I know full well that they did. Because I know I put them down on the coffee table in the living room and they’re not there now. What else could have possibly happened?”

Mann says she suspects gang activity. The glasses, she explains, were only a month old, but the $68 Kate Spade frames have a vintage 1950’s look. “They're so adorbs,” She said, pulling up a photo on Google images, and adding that she's not usually the type of person who just goes around saying "adorbs."

Mann, who appeared to be wearing a pair of Kate Spade glasses pushed up high on her head at the time of this interview, claims to have lost all faith in local law enforcement.


“You know, I wasn’t even going to call the police until I heard the news report about how they found Sir Elton John’s glasses when they were stolen from the Rock and Soul Museum last week,” Mann said. “I know I’m just an ordinary person. I never even wrote one version of ‘Candle in the Wind,’ let alone two versions. But I certainly didn’t expect to be treated like a crazy person.”

When asked if the glasses on top of her head might indeed be the missing pair Mann became embarrassed. “Well, look at that,” she said, laughing at herself. “I guess this one’s on me.

“There’s still the matter of my pickup truck that was stolen in 1996,” Mann concluded, adjusting her recovered spectacles. “That’s way bigger than any old Rocket Man glasses, and the police never found that either. I'm not sure they even tried.”

Monday, April 27, 2015

Smoked Meats: Memphis' Crack for Lunch Meat Story Gets the WTFark Treatment

Posted By on Mon, Apr 27, 2015 at 10:19 PM

"Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."
  • "Hey, you look like the kind of guy who might trade $50,000 worth of lunch meat for some crack cocaine."

Last week Memphis Flyer reporter Toby Sells told the gripping tale of Larry Ron Bowen, the Arkansas truck driver who traded a tractor trailer load of lunch meat for an undisclosed amount of crack cocaine. The story was picked by various other national and international news outlets, but nobody told it better than the satirical online news content generator WTFark.

Enjoy. 


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Friday, April 10, 2015

This is TV News

Posted By on Fri, Apr 10, 2015 at 3:39 PM

Classic Joe
  • Classic Joe

WMC's Joe Birch needs to have a serious heart to heart with his scriptwriter. Or maybe high camp is what Action News 5 is going for these days. 

Here's a Birch sample from Tuesday's newscast: "A fight. People run over. Crashes... a video so shocking WMC Action News 5's Jerry Askin searched for some answers."

By "searching for answers" the famously helmet-haired anchor meant that the reporter asked random people what they thought about a thinly-sourced YouTube video. The clip in question seemed to show a fight and people being intentionally hit by cars. You can watch the weird reaction vid here. 

Classic camp
  • Classic camp

Or you can just hang out here and marvel at the headline. 

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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Play Pac Man on the Streets of Memphis

Posted By on Wed, Apr 1, 2015 at 9:15 AM

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You can play Pac Man on a map of Memphis (or anywhere you like) right now.

Just point your browser to Google Maps and look for the Pac Man box at the lower left-hand corner. Click it. Follow the simple instructions and you’re ready to munch those Pac-Man pellets.

In the video below, Pac-Man’s doing what Pac-Man does on the Downtown streets around Union and Riverside Drive.


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