Bad ideas

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Commercial Appeal: Best Place to Work in Memphis is Nashville

Newspaper honors Memphis businesses by giving them plaques with pictures of Nashville.

Posted By on Tue, Dec 5, 2017 at 2:22 PM

It's nice to see the Commercial Appeal honoring Memphis' best workplaces. Like Bartlett City Schools which, according to this Facebook post, were ranked second in the “Top 10 Large Business Workplaces” category. But wouldn't it be even nicer if the plaques had a picture of the Memphis skyline on them, instead of Nashville?
Local journalism. Can't beat it.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Vending Machine for Weaves Arrives, Memphis Now Officially a World Class City

Posted By on Tue, Oct 31, 2017 at 12:06 PM

According to a report by WMC news, Memphis now has its very own vending machine for weaves. The Diamond Dynasty weave machine offers a variety of hair options ranging in price from  $55-80.

According to the WMC report the vending machine will be a convenience for people who may need to change their look on the go. Like spies, I guess.

The obvious question: What kind of impact will easy access to hair have on Memphis' tribble-like infestation of tumbleweaves?

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Makers of Austin's STAX-logo Keychains Told to Cease and Desist

Posted By on Thu, Nov 3, 2016 at 6:02 PM

Your Pesky Fly has received news from sources close to the STAX logo. Turns out, use of said logo (owned by Concord Music) on souvenir keychains stamped "Austin," and sold in the Texas capital's airport, is, in fact, a copyright infringement. The company that makes the abominations (and stores selling said abominations) will receive a cease and desist letter.

You're still cool Austin. But you're not THAT cool.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Really, Today Show? Graceland? In Nashville?

Posted By on Thu, Oct 27, 2016 at 12:27 PM

First, they came for our STAX logo. Then, this happened...

Monday, October 24, 2016

Really, Austin?

Posted By on Mon, Oct 24, 2016 at 3:01 PM

Oh, SNAP! This is so wrong. And, apparently available in the airport. You know, that perfect last minute memory of Austin. 

Thursday, June 16, 2016

Man Arrested for Indecent Exposure Gets Naked in Court

Posted By on Thu, Jun 16, 2016 at 2:37 PM

Derrick Thomas, enjoying himself.
  • Derrick Thomas, enjoying himself.
If you're going down, you might as well go down swinging. Am I right?

Derrick Thomas, arrested in Jonesboro, Arkansas last month for indecent exposure and "enjoying himself," decided to expose himself again. This time in Judge Keith Blackman’s courtroom. Yesterday. 

According to news reports Thomas was granted permission to leave the courtroom for a drink of water. He returned — running by all accounts — with his shirt off, his pants around his ankles, and his arms in the air. 

 “Court is back in session,” Thomas was quoted as saying. 

Thomas laughed as three police officers forced his pants up and removed him from the courtroom. Then he added something to the effect of, “They will put [on my] tombstone that [I] was the one that got naked in the courtroom.”

Everybody has a bucket list, apparently. 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Andy Holt to Give Away AR-15 Rifle, Would Hand Out More

Posted By on Mon, Jun 13, 2016 at 3:08 PM


You know, it's getting easier to see things through the lunatic eyes of Tennessee Rep. Andy Holt, (R)-Duh.

Every unhinged missive he fires off sheds a little more light on the pig farmer's thought process, and finally it's clear to me, per Holt, that the Second Amendment exists, in part, to insure bad guys have access to immense firepower. Because that, in turn, furnishes good guys with deserving targets for their own, even immenser firepower. It's pretty obvious, really — right there in the constitution between the words, "well regulated," and "militia," and not all that hard to see if, like Andy, you squint. 

Holt's been out of the spotlight lately. According to a Facebook post, he's been "toiling away in the dirt," just trying to provide for his family. That honest endeavor provided the  legislator with an opportunity to think, pray, and commune with his Lord. You see, a man with a history of hate and abusive behavior walked into a gay bar in Orlando, Florida Sunday morning and, in no time at all, gunned down 50-innocent people with an AR-15 semi-automatic weapon. Holt had planned to give away one of those deadly, fast-shooting rifles at a campaign fundraiser and turkey shoot called HogFest. But now, in the Orlando massacre's horrific wake, Holt's so consarn mad about the dadgum liberals, he wishes he could give away more.

"I'm furious," Holt writes and — oh hell, I'm just going to copy the whole thing right here.

"I'm furious over the fact that our government literally refuses to recognize the threat of radical Islam. I'm furious that it is no longer an insidious threat; but has been allowed, and even encouraged, to become an all out blatant attack due to the inaction of our irresponsible government "leaders." I'm furious over the fact that reckless 'leaders' like Congressman Steve Cohen (D-Memphis) rush to blame the 2nd Amendment rather than radical Islam. I'm furious over the fact that so many are too ignorant to understand that the Twin Towers were not brought down by a firearm, but we're instead brought down by radical Islam. Do you think these people care if they use a gun, bomb or an airplane? I'm furious that so many like Cohen cannot wait to leave us defenseless in the face of such great risk. I'm furious that I get phone calls from the media asking me if I'm still going to give away an AR-15 at our HogFest, rather than asking me how many extra firearms I'll be handing out to ensure people can protect themselves. After all, it was a bullet that stopped the terrorist. Amazing how so many seem to miss that fact. I'm furious that the NSA continues to spy on ordinary Americans like you and me, yet allows suspected terrorists to easily walk away. I'm furious that I see elected liberal democrats rushing to literally blame Republicans for this tragic attack on the LGBT community. While I am a conservative Christian, my heart literally breaks for these women and men on so many levels. I'm furious that these same liberal democrats rushing to condemn conservative Christians that may disagree with a lifestyle, simultaneously rush to defend a religion that readily hangs and massacres gays and lesbians. Ever been to a country where Muslims are the majority? If you have, you'll find gay men hanging in the streets. This is disgusting in so many ways. The media, our government, it's all literally disgusting. I say all this to say that I understand how angry you all are. You have every right to be.

All that being said, I want you all to do 3 things for me.

1.) I want you to call the ones you love most and let them know how important they are to you. I want you to hold onto them for dear life. I want you to cherish every last moment.
2.) I want you to arm yourselves and learn to shoot with deadly accuracy should the need arise. Protect your family. Protect yourselves. Protect your friends. Our government has made it quite clear that it is incapable of doing so. At the end of the day, it's your responsibility anyways.
3.) I want you to pray. Pray for the victims and their families. Pray for our country. Pray for the followers of a deadly, merciless religion. Pray for leadership. Pray for mercy and grace.
Dear media,
You want to know if I'm still giving away an AR-15? You bet the farm I am. And to those that have a problem with it, ‪#‎MolonLabe‬!
How about asking liberals when they plan on banning gun free zones?
Holt, who's introduced his share of faith-based anti-gay legislation, burned his traffic tickets on YouTube, and shown support for antics perpetrated by the Bundy Ranch militia, seemed particularly upset by gun-hating Democrats like Memphis Congressman Steve Cohen, who would "leave us defenseless."

The question, of course, is who Holt means by "us."  

If memory (and Google) serves, Senate Republicans joined together (on the day after the San Bernardino massacre no less) to block a D-supported bill that would have prevented people on the terrorist watch list from buying guns legally. Cohen vocally supported that measure. He's also co-sponsored legislation regulating large capacity ammunition, and closing fire sale loopholes. And yet, somehow, in spite of all that reckless Democrat behavior, even the NRA Political Victory Fund graded Cohen a gentleman's C. Not perfect, but not too shabby for somebody trying to leave Americans all defenseless and shit.

But let's not forget that "a bullet... stopped the terrorist," Omar Mateen, who was picked up and questioned about ISIS ties, but still able to pick up an AR-15 like it was a quart of milk. 

See. The system works. 

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Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Rejected Slogans for Tennessee's Sexist Anti-DUI Campaign

Posted By on Wed, Jul 15, 2015 at 8:05 AM

If you think the controversial anti-DUI slogans created for the Governor's Highway Safety Office were bad, wait till you the slogans they rejected! Your pesky Fly-Team has collected several posters that, for some reason or another, just didn't make the cut. And here they are. 

They had us at "male fantasy."
  • They had us at "male fantasy."

Heritage, not heat.
  • Heritage, not heat.

Excellent advice, we can't imagine why it didn't make the cut.
  • Excellent advice, we can't imagine why it didn't make the cut.

What, no Kryspers?
  • What, no Kryspers?

This one seems like it might be a bit sexist, actually.
  • This one seems like it might be a bit sexist, actually.

Now that's just mean.
  • Now that's just mean.

That's uncalled for.
  • That's uncalled for.

Not sexist, but true. It's a song about an  old man who molests cocktails and wears younger men's clothes. That's just creepy.
  • Not sexist, but true. It's a song about an old man who molests cocktails and wears younger men's clothes. That's just creepy.
  • Speechless

This post was made with the help of The Wiseguys. 

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

The New Tennessee DUI Campaign is Sexist and it's Okay for Journalists to Say So

Posted By on Tue, Jul 14, 2015 at 10:28 AM

In case you don't get it.  - FANCYCWABS

So here's the thing about "fair and balanced" media: It's a political strategy, not a benchmark of good journalism. Take for example, the Tennessean's recent story about a ridiculous state-sponsored anti-DUI poster/coaster campaign.


The headline,"Tennessee's new anti-DUI campaign called sexist," suggests that there are two competing narratives. First, "Some people say the slogans are sexist." Second, "But are they really?"

Let's take a look at a couple of the slogans chosen for a campaign targeting young misogynists men.

• "After a few drinks the girls look hotter and the music sounds better. Just remember: If your judgement is impaired, so is your driving."
 In other words, "Bruh, you remember that Coyote morning you had with the fatty/uggo/feminzi? A DUI is like, — worse." 

• "Buy a drink for a marginally good-looking girl, only to find out she's chatty, clingy, and your boss's daughter." 
Isn't this the setup for an Andrew Dice Clay joke? 

• "Ask a married woman for her phone number in front of her large, muscle-bound, skull-tattooed husband." 
Okay, this one is only marginally sexist, assuming the little lady requires a hyper-masculine protector, and won't Krav Maga any fool that offers to buy her an appletini. It's also the kind of joke a drunk makes to other drunks, about other drunks, right before ordering one for the road.
 It's true, some are calling it sexist.

We can safely say that any campaign aimed at young men, built around the idea that they don't want to drunk-bang a "chatty, clingy... marginally good looking" woman is clearly sexist. And the science that's sprung up around this kind of reporting strategy suggests that the "two narrative" approach does the opposite of what good journalism is supposed to do. Instead of informing, clarifying, or correcting, it tends to confuse, confirm biases and solidify previously held beliefs. 

The new Tennessee anti-DUI campaign is sexist. That's true, regardless of who says what about it. To appease the politically sexist by suggesting wiggle room is every bit as sexist.

Please stop. 

UPDATE: Et tu Nashville Public Radio?

Thursday, June 18, 2015

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office Rejects New Tennessee Logo

Posted By on Thu, Jun 18, 2015 at 6:17 PM


Not only is it crude and a little embarrassing, the controversial new Tennessee logo doesn't meet criteria for trademark. According to the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office the red and blue box with the state's Tn abbreviation is too "geographically descriptive." That means a trademark could grant the holder exclusive rights to design elements that other parties need for general identification and use.

The offending element, in this case, is the state abbreviation:

TN is an abbreviation for Tennessee (see dictionary definition attached). The applicant is the State of Tennessee and the place of business is in Tennessee. Therefore, it is reasonable to believe that the services come from and are offered in Tennessee.

Like the USPTO says in the FAQ :

Under U.S. trademark law, geographic terms or signs are not registrable as trademarks if they are geographically descriptive or geographically misdescriptive of where the goods/services originate. The theory is that other producers in that area would need to be able to use a geographic term to describe where their goods/services are from and that one person should not be able to prevent others from using that term. 

Friday, May 22, 2015

The New Tennessee Logo Has Its Own Parody Twitter Account, Of Course...

Posted By on Fri, May 22, 2015 at 8:12 AM


You know, there's really no reason to say much about this. Something happened yesterday resulting in an outpouring of "OMG" and "smh." Boom. Twitter account. Enjoy. 

Oh, also, @TnLogo, you should totally follow Captain America. 

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Six new names for Paula Deen's buffet that should probably be avoided

Posted By on Thu, Jun 27, 2013 at 2:09 AM

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Monday, June 24, 2013

Knock Knock?

Posted By on Mon, Jun 24, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
  • "Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying."

Knock Knock?
Who's There?
Get a new lawyer.
Get a new lawyer who?
No, seriously, get a new lawyer.

How Not To Give An Opening Argument

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