Weird Tennessee

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Nashville Changes Fred Douglass Park to Frederick Douglass Park. Finally.

Posted By on Thu, Mar 23, 2017 at 2:51 PM

When it comes to honoring African-American heroes, Memphis has had its own awkward moments as witnessed by text on the original Tom Lee monument erected in 1954. But this is next level stuff. Key bit from The Tennessean:

"On Wednesday, families and children, city officials and the mayor joined descendants of Frederick Douglass in the grassy park bottom where the famed abolitionist visited more than a century ago.

Together they unveiled the new sign that rectified a mistake that for many years left the park with the wrong name — Fred Douglas Park."

Douglass is, as noted by President D.J. Trump, an, "example of somebody who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more."



Fred
  • Fred

Thursday, December 22, 2016

2016: The Year in Weird News, Memphis-Style

Posted By on Thu, Dec 22, 2016 at 1:43 PM

2016 was a weird year for everybody. Here at Fly on the Wall, it was just another year. So, without further ado, here’s your damn recap.

PHOTO OF THE YEAR
Let's have a great big standing-O for former Tennessee state rep Curry Todd who was caught on camera stealing his opponent’s yard signs.
flyby_asfuck.jpg
And in his honor, some ZZ Top. 
Weird Crime
• Who peed in your cornflakes? Hard to say. But a criminal investigation was opened when video surfaced on the internet of a man urinating on a conveyor belt at Memphis’ Kellogg’s factory.

• Delta Airlines flight attendant Rachel Trevor of Memphis became the Robin Hood of airplane bottle liquor sales when she was arrested for stealing approximately 1,500 itty-bitty bottles of booze from Delta and selling them on Craigslist for a buck a piece. The liquor was given an in-flight value of $12,000.
"Court is back in session!"
  • "Court is back in session!"
• If you're going down, go down swinging. Derrick Thomas, arrested in Jonesboro, Arkansas, last month for indecent exposure and "enjoying himself," decided to expose himself again — to Justice. After leave the courtroom for a drink of water, Thomas returned — running by all accounts — with his shirt off, his pants around his ankles, and his arms in the air." Court is back in session," Thomas was quoted as saying.

• LaShundra Smith, charged with indecent exposure for being partially nude on a bench at Mary Malone Elizabeth Park, told officers she was "trying to air out."

• Kasey Collins was an ordinary peeping Tom. He only makes it into this category because WMC left one very important letter out of its identifying text making him a "peeing Tom." That's a much more interesting crime.

• WTTE-TV Columbus reported on a thwarted plan to transport drugs to Memphis. A shipping clerk got suspicious and discovered a bottle of liquid codeine inside an adorable teddy bear.
Build-A-Mule
  • Build-A-Mule
• There needs to be an addendum to the old saying "Don't cry over spilled milk." Don't stab people over spilled cheese dip, especially if it's not Pancho's. Seriously people, don't do that.
An unidentified 35-year-old Memphis woman was rushed into surgery at Methodist hospital after she wrecked the car she was driving to the emergency room. She'd been stabbed by another woman, Yolanda Tucker, who, according to a police report, became unreasonably upset after the victim spilled a container of Rotel.

• Here's a mugshot of Jerry Lawler.
screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_12.44.48_pm.png
The rang kang spent a night in the pokey following a domestic dispute. Charges were dropped when authorities couldn't determine who the aggressor was.

Weird Media

Weird Story of the Year: According to WMC Action News 5, thieves have murdered four people while attempting to steal hair weaves, "and now many Memphians say demonic spirits could be to blame." That's right folks, WMC scooped the rest of Memphis media on an important story about vanity, greed, consumer hair products, and secret doorways to realms infernal, where ancient evil lurks, waiting to swoop down and snatch a wig right off your goddamn head. Notable quote: "Whose-ever hair I was wearing on my head, that heifer had a bad omen."
Actual WMC image of hair that's cursed as hell.
  • Actual WMC image of hair that's cursed as hell.
General WTF involving a porn star. You'll probably want a soundtrack.

Best Worst Use of Social Media: When people are critical of your work it's always a good idea to follow the lead of WMC-TV weatherman Spencer Denton and remind all the haters there are dead children in the world, and it's sad. When Denton joined other local weather forecasters in over-hyping a winter storm that never materialized but still resulted in mass event cancellations, school closings, and business shuttering, people got angry. In response to complaints Denton dropped a post on his "Spencer Denton Meteorologist" Facebook page implying that people need to chillax and think about unrelated tragedies, like the death of 2-year-old Noah Chamberlin, an East Tennessee boy whose body was found several days after he disappeared during a hike with his grandmother. "We are already getting blasted by people about our forecast, and the event hasn't even happened yet. And some of the comments are personal attacks," Denton wrote. "Funny thing is, I really don't care. All I can think about is that little boy Noah and what he endured over the past several days. It puts things in perspective. If you get 3 to 6 inches of snow, enjoy a snow day with family and friends. If you get an inch or less, be thankful for less accidents on the roads. Whether my forecast is right or wrong, I get to go home to a little two-year-old girl tonight, for that I am truly thankful. #RIPNOAH."

Best Worst Cover Design: University of Memphis quarterback Paxton Lynch has announced he wouldn't be returning for his final year of eligibility with the Memphis Tigers. Sports analysts have tapped Paxton as a likely first-round pick in this April's NFL draft. His position near the top of mock drafts has resulted in a flurry of national media attention and this picture in The Commercial Appeal.
flyby_serialrapist.jpg

Best Worst Media Promo (Runner Up): No comment required.

screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_12.39.15_pm.png
Best Worst Media Promotion (Winner!!!): "Memphis Most is now live." Run for the hills before it murders us all!!!
screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_12.42.55_pm.png
Best Typo that Should Be An Actual Word: CHOAS!!! Remember Elvis Week 2016 when Black Lives Matters demonstrators showed up at Graceland to engage in a bit of modestly disruptive protest, police showed up in numbers sufficient to ensure there wasn't any fan base mingling, and it rained like hell? Those were the days, my friend. Or as WMC-TV put it in an alarming all-caps headline: "Elvis Week CHOAS." As in "Get CHOAS a proofreader." Gotta admit though, CHOAS is a good word for the fictional world of mayhem out TV news stations drum up by over-reporting  crime without context. It's CHOAS out there! 
flyonwall_choas.jpg
Best Misspelling in a Help Wanted Ad that Also Explains Everything Wrong With Contemporary Broadcast Media: The winner is WREG. They were looking for a new assistant news director able to...

"• supervise
• set the tone of the station's content
• put the "schizzle" into Breaking News."

Most Important Breaking News: Thanks CA!

flyonwall.jpg

Weird Odds and Ends

•Weird shit you can buy:
Have you been looking for the perfect toy to teach friends and family about inappropriate touching? If so, you may want to check and see if Family Dollar's still selling this T-Rex/Stegosaurus combo.
screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_1.48.12_pm.png
Here's how it works: The T-Rex has a yellow button where his junk should be, and he hollers whenever someone mashes it.

• Austin thought it could get away with something. Couldn't.
screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_1.13.38_pm.png
• Butt Plug is the New New Tumbleweave: Tumbleweaves — the lost wigs and all-too-familiar hair pieces we see blowing down the sidewalk — are so 2015. The future belongs to abandoned sex toys.
This adorable, pink butt plug was spotted in the Cooper-Young neighborhood, standing bolt upright in the middle of the street.
screen_shot_2016-12-22_at_1.16.40_pm.png


It raised a lot of questions. Questions like, Did it just fall out? Were words exchanged? Did somebody say, "It's not you, it's me?"

• David Gest RIP.
The David left us this year. Bless his heart.
He was a celebrity. He wanted out.
  • He was a celebrity. He wanted out.
Photo of the Year (Mississippi Edition): Remember when Hernando, Mississippi Mayor Chip (real name) Johnson told TV reporters that the nude photo he texted a girlfriend, while embarrassing, shouldn't interfere with his performance running city government? But what about everybody else's performance? Who can even think about mayor stuff when all they can think about is mayor stuff? YIKES!
flyby_mayorselfie.jpg
I'm sure I left a bunch of stuff out. I always do, but that's what comments are for. Share your weird Mid-South, 2016.

Friday, November 22, 2013

Why is Memphis Happier than Nashville? Meet the Nashville Grizzlies

Posted By on Fri, Nov 22, 2013 at 2:31 PM

As you may have heard, Nashville is "all that" but Memphis is happier. Probably because we're "smoking something."

I'm sure there are many nuanced reasons for Gallup's findings but I'd like to think they are related, at least in part, to the fact that these are Memphis Grizzlies.

Growl
  • Growl

And these are Nashville Grizzlies.

Completely speechless.
  • Completely speechless.


Update: While naked scrum photos may be hilarious, what the Nashville Grizzlies are doing is pretty cool.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tennessee Woman Diagnosed with "Ghetto Booty." Seriously.

Posted By on Tue, Jul 16, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Lumbar Lordosis, or, as medical professionals call it,  Ghetto Booty.
  • Lumbar Lordosis, or, as medical professionals call it, "Ghetto Booty."
Terry Ragland of Jackson, TN filed a complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health following her doctor's diagnosis of her chronic back pain.

From the WREG report:

“I think I blacked out after he said ghetto booty. I think my mind was just stuck on the phrase because I couldn’t believe he said that,” said Ragland.


Dr Sweo explained to WREG that he'd used the term to explain a condition called lumbar lordosis, "a fancy name for the curve of the lower spine that makes the buttocks protrude more."

"In trying to explain that I said that she had ghetto booty and she didn’t like that apparently," Sweo was quoted as saying.

Read the whole report here.

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Most Commented On

Top Viewed Stories

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation