Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Mulroyad: the Commission's Poet Laureate Sums It Up

Posted By on Wed, Aug 20, 2014 at 8:23 AM

"Howl" it ain't, but Steve Mulroy's limerick salutes to colleagues formally put an end to a four-year-cycle of Shelby County's legislative body; plus, a star turn by Heidi Shafer. Also featured are: Mike Ritz, James Harvey, Sidney Chism, and Chris Thomas — all outgoing members of the Shelby County Commission, along with Mulroy himself.

And, yes, there was one done for Henri Brooks, too, but she was not there to receive it.

The lyrics:

To Commissioner Mike Ritz:

Ritz gave tax-wasting bureaucrats the terrors
He could give, not just “No”’s, but “Hell, never!”’s
He was the man in the know
And he’d tell ya, “Told you so”
Now our Captions will stay filled with errors

To Commissioner James Harvey:
Chairman Harvey dressed in height of fashion
And his speeches, he’d give a healthy ration
Whole new words he would invent
As his support morphed to dissent
New electoral gates he’ll soon be crashin’.

To Commissioner Sidney Chism:
Politickin’ for decades: our Sidney
Slowin’ down? You gotta be kiddin’ me!
To be fighting that long
And still going so strong
For that I’d give up my last kidney

To Commissioner Chris Thomas:
Our theocratic thespian Thomas
Came on board with great acting promise
For years this stage did he cross
Now he’s got Bunker for a boss
(If he’d stayed at Probate, he’d-a saved himself some traumas.)

Heidi Shafer's Limerick Salute to Mulroy
Steve Mulroy’s a Trekker who thought he
would legislate with his verbal Karate;
Though his thinking was sly,
we will miss this nice guy,
as it’s now time to ‘beam him up, Scotty!’

Mulroy's Farewell Sonnet
'Eight years and more I’ve given to this quest:
Improve our local life through acts of state.
Though only those who follow judge success;
To them I leave the task of me to rate.

Our job requires passion, but not duels
To ride out all the storms, at times enjoy them.
The greater task for all: play by the rules
To suffer fools and knaves, but not to join them.

My precious Spotlight Time is now ending
(I) Make room for those who bring a fresher view
More private time than public I’ll be spending
Past time for me—past time for public, too.

The only claim to which we can attest:
We served, we struggled, and we did our best.


The Undelivered Henri Brooks Limeridck
Controversy was Brooks’ steady diet
Silence her? You wouldn’t even try it
She sicced the feds on Juvie Court
Was always ready with a retort
The Commission will be much more quiet

Also Undelivered: Mulroy's Limerick to Himself
Crusading causes were Mulroy’s pastimes
Along with Star Trek and bad poetry crimes
Some failed and some passed
But we’re grateful at long last
We’ll finally be rid of his rhymes. 

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