You have to give Neil Simon a lot of credit. Commercially speaking, he’s the

most successful playwright in history and a master of all media. So freaking

what if he’s been stuck in a half-century rut writing one piece of formulaic

crap after another? The masses, washed and otherwise, seem to hang on his every

word. He could have continued to write the same play with the same jokes over

and over again for the next 20 years and only gotten richer. But he didn’t.

Who knows why?

After decades serving as a whipping post for critics who were sick of

suffering through his shtick, maybe something finally sunk in. Maybe he just needed a

little vacation from himself. Simon has said of his adventurous (and, for that matter,

disastrous) one-act play, The Dinner Party,

“I wanted to try something different.” To

put it as kindly as possible, Simon should have stayed in Brighton Beach.

Not only is The Dinner Party set in

an exclusive Parisian restaurant, it actually reads as if it had been translated from

an original French text: first into German, then into Japanese, and then, at last, into

English. As a purely academic endeavor, it’s a thorough, if pedestrian, exploration

of Sartre’s “Theatre of Situations,” where

characters are brought together in a locked room and blindly forced to choose one of

two possible exits. One exit leads to certain uncertainty, the other to death. A chipper

guy, that Sartre, a real Neil Simon. Anyway,

The Dinner Party begins like a frothy

Feydeau farce and quickly turns into a

bargain-basement redux of No Exit, and as it does

so the laughter, scant to begin with, vanishes and is replaced by tedium. Clocking

90 minutes, this play about three divorced couples locked in a room together feels

like an eternity.

Playhouse on the Square has gone all out to give Simon’s failed absurdist

outing a fighting chance. The stellar cast, featuring Ann Marie Hall,

Jonathon Lamer, Kyle Barnett, Emily Frye, Ben Hensley, and Leslie Lee Lansky, are

uniformly excellent, and they play off one another like pinballs and bumpers.

The costumes by Rebecca Powell are definitive. John Sailer’s set feels like the

kind of palatial environment where Napoleon might have courted Josephine. The

only thing wrong with this production is that it ever happened in the first place.

Midway through the show, Claude (Lamer), a failed writer and antique

book seller, tells his ex-wife Mariette (Lansky), a successful pulp novelist, that she

had the talent he’d always dreamed of having. Mariette, in turn, claims that she

had been inspired by the classics Claude introduced her to. They both agree that

her books, while popular, are essentially garbage, and they apologize to one

another. One senses that this is Simon’s way of acknowledging his influences,

recognizing how inferior The Dinner Party is

and apologizing to his detractors in one fell swoop. It’s clearly a case where a

writer who has every right to be complacent is wrestling with his creative and

intellectual urges, and that almost makes this otherwise unwatchable play

watchable. It almost makes you hope that Mr. Simon will try “something different” again.

But not quite.

The Dinner Party is at Playhouse through April 19th.

There can be little doubt that playwright Richard Greenberg knows how to use

the English language. Without ever seeming the least bit pretentious, he elevates

ordinary words to the level of incantations. Dramatically, he uses the same

kinds of “little intrigues” that fueled the works of Anton Chekhov.

And yet Greenberg’s stylish and soulful Three Days of Rain, the Pulitzer

Prize finalist that has been hailed far and wide as a modern masterpiece, is

really little more than a soap opera that, for all its superficial glory, seems

to lack real substance. Consider the great revelations and difficult choices

the show focuses on: “Who will inherit the family’s inestimably valuable

estate?” “Whoever shall the sassy Southern girl marry — the quiet

but brilliant architect or the charming, well-connected but not quite as brilliant

architect?” And lastly, “Did my best friend, who is now a soap star,

really have sex with my sister sometime in the distant past?” One might

best summarize the play with a single sentence: Trust-fund brats have problems

too, so B.F.D. But NEXT Stage’s production of Three Days of Rain, which

closed this past weekend, was a big deal. It was a case where Brian Mott, Michael

Gravois, and Kim Justis, three hard-working actors at the top of their game,

met with three roles they were all but custom-fitted for and turned in their

best performances to date. It was a case where the whole was far greater than

the sum of its already great components. Because of the commitment of the actors

and Stephen Hancock’s all but invisible direction, Three Days of Rain

ranks among the best shows to be seen on a Memphis stage in at least the last

10 years. It’s a case where you really have to wish that Memphis was a serious

theater town: that the production could move to a different theater, continue

its run and gain momentum, rather than closing after its appointed three weeks.