This summer is flying by fast! Before you know it, it’ll be time to buy school supplies and uniforms for these kids. But until then, we’re staying cool and doing a whole lot of “teening.” I’ve got an 11-year-old girl, twin 13-year-old boys, and a 17-year-old boy. Watching them this summer, I’ve learned that doing “nothing” is something too. And oftentimes, it’s the best kind of something to do.
When I think of “doing something,” I picture going out, socializing, creating a new experience. But that’s my 40-year-old brain talking. For teenagers, “doing something” looks completely different. And honestly? My teens don’t want to do a lot of the things I want to do with them.
Ever since Nintendo dropped the Switch 2, our house has been buzzing with talk about the system’s perks, new games, and updates. I’m not going to lie — I’m not sure I can compete with the hype. My husband and I have made it very clear: We will NOT be spending $450 on a new gaming system. So what did the kids do? They put their heads together and started brainstorming a business plan. They’ve even talked about selling candy and offering odd-end chores around the neighborhood. I’ve got to respect the hustle.
As for the Summer Bingo — well, it’s definitely flopping in the Lockhart household. Only one teen is truly taking it seriously. At least three to four times a week, he comes to me to verify that his activity fits the criteria and safely marks it off. He tells me his plans and even encourages his siblings to participate. He really wants to get a “Yes” from his parental units. As I write this, I can’t help but hope he doesn’t use his “Yes” on the Nintendo Switch 2 … that would be diabolical.
Here’s where we stand on Summer Bingo:
Out of the 25 Bingo squares, they have roughly completed nine. When I asked the kids about their intentions to finish the challenge, they said, “Yeah, we will … but it’s too outside.” Here’s what they’ve completed so far:
• Play a new video game: Of course. Completed on Day 1.
• Host a summer party: Done. Aiden celebrated his 17th birthday.
• Attend a music concert: Yes! Axis at Life Church.
• Try a new food: They made and tried spinach artichoke dip. It got a thumbs-up.
• Enjoy a fun indoor activity: Built forts that were Dad-approved.
• Craft something new (IRL!): Music, makeup, paintings — check!
• Go swimming: Lots of pool time on vacation.
• Eat pizza for breakfast: Happened more than once.
• Learn a TikTok dance and teach it: Yes, and it was hilarious.
Some readers may wonder, “If they’re not doing a lot of things on the list, what exactly are teenagers doing during the summer?” Well … a whole lot of “teening.”
• Sleeping in (They usually don’t rise before 11 a.m.)
• Playing video games
• Hanging out with friends (online or IRL)
• Listening to music, watching shows, exploring trends
• Daydreaming or doing “nothing” while still growing and processing life
• Fulfilling basic chores and study expectations
• Playing bass guitar, doing makeup, or other creative outlets
So when someone says teens are “teening,” it means they’re just being teens — figuring out who they are, often in quiet, messy, or aimless ways that don’t show up on to-do lists … or, in my case, Summer Bingo. But they matter all the same.
My daughter is all-in on makeup. She watches endless YouTube tutorials and recently recreated the look of Camilla Cream from A Bad Case of Stripes. My eldest is into bass guitars. He writes his own music and puts on mini concerts for us. He even assigned me piano music to accompany his bass solos — now I just need to practice so I don’t embarrass him. As for the twins? They’re embracing the freedom of doing nothing. I’ve actually gotten more hugs from them this summer just by letting them be.
Was my Summer Bingo a great idea? Absolutely. Was it what they needed this summer? Apparently not. Each day, my teens do something. It might not be a Bingo square, but it’s something they need. And maybe, in this season, what they need most is space — to rest, to explore, to be.
As parents, we come up with great plans. But they may not always align with where our kids are developmentally or emotionally. I’m not too proud to admit defeat or acknowledge when what I envisioned isn’t what they needed. And that’s okay.
Because sometimes, the best parenting move is simply stepping back and giving them the space to grow into themselves.
Patricia Lockhart is a native Memphian who loves to read, write, cook, and eat. By day, she’s an assistant principal and writer, but by night … she’s asleep.