Argh. Pirates. 

What's with the strange inaction in the Indian Ocean?

I'm the loudmouthed pundit. I'm supposed to have the answers, or at least pretend to. But I'm baffled, confused even. So I'm turning the tables to ask you, dear reader: Why aren't we bombing the crap out of Somalia's pirates?

I don't get it. You can't build a house in Waziristan or throw a wedding in Afghanistan without drawing a blizzard of Hellfire missiles. We bomb aspirin factories, hospitals, and schools. We employ bad-ass Special Forces and psycho mercenaries who set up freelance torture operations and supervise mass executions. We Americans have our faults, but wimpy pacifism isn't one of them. So what's with these pirates?

In June 2007, a French warship witnessed the Danica White, a Danish merchant vessel carrying a crew of five men, being hijacked by pirates off the coast of Somalia. The French, reported the Navy Times, "could not cross into Somali territorial waters to offer help." Which is confusing, what with Somalia being a failed state without a viable central government and all. Who was going to stop them — the Somali coast guard?

Somalia's territorial waters? Sacrosanct! Invade Iraq, invade Afghanistan, try to overthrow the president of Venezuela, send CIA agents into the Iranian desert to case their nuke plants, blast cars on highways in Yemen, no problem. But for God's sake, leave Somalia alone!

An American ship was also on the scene of the Danica White shipjacking. "The USS Carter Hall fired flares and several shots across the bow as well as several disabling shots at the three skiffs in tow," said a navy spokesman. Across the bow? Why didn't they blow them to smithereens? "But the hijacked Danica White made it into Somali waters, and the Carter Hall had to back off and watch," reported Navy Times. "We're observing them at this point," said the navy spokesman afterward. "It's ongoing."

There's a lot of observing going on off Somalia. At this writing, at least 14 ships and 250 crewmembers are being held "a few miles off a 230-mile stretch of Somali coastline between Xarardheere and the town of Eyl," reports The New York Times. These include the Sirius Star, a 1,000-foot-long Saudi oil tanker, and a Ukrainian cargo ship carrying enough Soviet tanks, anti-aircraft guns, and other weaponry to get you started as a respectable warlord. An international flotilla, including American navy ships, are watching the situation — and doing jack.

We know why George W. Bush never tried to catch Osama bin Laden; he must have been worried he'd be captured alive and have to talk about his relationship with the CIA. But what do the Somali pirates have on Bush, the president of Ukraine, and the king of Saudi Arabia? What explains their reluctance to rain hot death on these privateers? Do the pirates plant hot Somali babes to seduce heads of state?

While we're asking questions, why don't ships that ply the pirate-infested waters south of the Gulf of Aden take security precautions? "For insurance and safety reasons, most crews on commercial ships do not carry weapons," says the Times. Weird. You'd think the Ukrainians might have at least been able to break into their own cargo to shoot back.

So far, the most delicious coverage of this uncharacteristic display of military restraint has been a Times article bearing the headline "U.S. Urges Merchant Ships to Try Steps to Foil Pirates." The U.S. navy, it said, was encouraging ships that travel near Somalia to employ "measures that did not involve the use of force" to avoid getting taken over. "The techniques," said the paper, "include complicated rudder movements and speed adjustments that make it hard for pirate speedboats to pull alongside, as well as simple steps like pulling up ladders that some ships leave dangling for an entire voyage."

It's like seeing someone walking around with money falling out of their pockets. I'm no pirate, but even I would be tempted to take over a ship with a skeleton crew, unarmed "for insurance and safety reasons," dangling its ladders. Such teases!

I understand why the Somalis do it. Piracy is big business in Somalia. Kenya's foreign minister says Somali pirates have collected $150 million in ransoms so far this year. "All you need is three guys and a little boat, and the next day you're millionaires," Abdullahi Omar Qawden, an ex-captain in Somalia's navy, told the Times. What I don't understand is why we, and so many other countries, put up with it.

Ted Rall is the author of the book Silk Road to Ruin: Is Central Asia the New Middle East?.

Comments (5)

Showing 1-5 of 5

Add a comment

Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-5 of 5

Add a comment

    • Twenty Years On

      It’s time to Invest in “Paz Colombia.”
    • Formula For Growth

      Shelby County can help fight crime by altering the Pinch district TIF.


Music Blog

Listen Up: Nathan McHenry

News Blog

Rate Changes to Come for Metered Parking Downtown

Intermission Impossible

The Winners for the 2017 High School Musical Theatre Awards

Hungry Memphis

Ghost River's Grindhouse Headed to a Can Near You

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

The Lovers

Music Blog

The Restoration of John Gary Williams

News Blog

MLGW and UPS Receive Sustainability Award

Hungry Memphis

Shipt Launching June 1st


More by Ted Rall

  • Blind Pigs

    Why the corporate media completely missed the rise of populist candidates like Trump and Sanders.
    • Apr 13, 2016
  • Bern Unit

    Senator Sanders is a socialist, and so are you.
    • Dec 10, 2015
  • Rand Paul’s Malfunction

    The campaign of Rand Paul offers further proof that the American political system is broken.
    • Apr 23, 2015
  • More »

Readers also liked…

  • A Letter to the Memphis City Council

    The council gets an “F” for its performance on the Greensward decision.
    • Mar 10, 2016
  • A Zoo Solution?

    The answer to the Memphis Zoo’s parking dilemma may be just a block away.
    • Nov 20, 2015
  • Making Tennessee Great Again!

    I'm writing this from the restroom facility at Big Hill Pond State Park in southern McNairy County. On Monday, I commandeered the building, which contains the men's and women's restrooms, some racks of pamphlets, and two vending machines. There's no one here right now, but I plan to stay as long as necessary to protest the fact that the state of Tennessee is run by oppressive know-nothings who wouldn't know small government — or freedom, for that matter — if it bit them on their considerable backsides ...

    • Jan 7, 2016
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation