BEAUTY IS... 

BEAUTY IS...

As beauty does, or so they say. And Elite Memphis' special "30 Most Beautiful People of Memphis" edition lists "Dicks Unlimited" among the community-service activities to which one of the featured beauties de votes her "time, finances, and talent." Talent indeed! But that's only the beginning of this saga. When Elite promises a special collector's edition they know how to deliver. Consider the biography of the eldest member of the "Most Beautiful" clan (oh, we needn't mention names here), who argued that she was too "old and wrinkled" to be beautiful. But Elite's professional judges thought otherwise, and they claim that the dear lady "personifies perfect Biblical beauty" (italics ours). Could it be that the author knew his subject in the biblical sense? But, aside from all the beauty business, Elite readers will want to check out the "What They Wore" section, where one woman sports an "outit from Lost in Paradise." As near as we can tell, no tit was actually out. And believe us, we looked pretty hard. And then, for the more serious-minded reader, there is a hard-hitting news feature focusing on the difficult ques tion, "If you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would your friends say you were and why?" (We're not making this up, we swear.) One Pam Montesi replied that she was "the corn," saying, "It is a very popular vegetable and is sweet to the taste." And, of course, like its cousin the peanut, the corn never completely digests, so you get to see it again and again. Just like all the faces in Elite Memphis.

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