Bianca Knows Best ... And Helps a Nice Guy 

Dear Bianca,

I have a large circle of friends, and sometimes those friends introduce me to their friends. A few months ago, I met a woman at a party (a friend of a friend, of course), and we started talking. She seemed cool -- really pretty, smart, funny.

So I gave her my number, and she called the next day. We set up a date, and though it started out okay, I realized mid-way through that she was a little annoying. She talks about herself too much and didn't seem to get any of my jokes. So when she called the next day, I didn't answer.

She called again a few hours later and three times the next day. I finally answered and made up some lame excuse about losing my phone. Then I set up another date, against my will. It went horribly and she kept throwing herself at me, like she wanted to get laid. I resisted despite my male urges.

I think I'm too nice. I don't know how to reject someone. Should I start ignoring her calls again? How can I make her go away without telling her I don't like her?

-- Scared to Reject

Dear Scared,

You are a big ol' wuss, and you've dug this hole way deeper than you should have, though I'm proud of you for not sleeping with the woman, despite her not-so-subtle invitation.

You're right that the easy way out would be to stop answering her calls. But truly persistent types (and it sounds like she is) may not give up. I once gave my number to a random person that I'd just met and instantly regretted it. I only answered his calls once or twice and then started hitting ignore. That was two years ago, and he still calls at least once a month.

But "do as I say, not as I do" in this scenario. That guy just wanted friendship but this woman obviously wants more. Ignoring her calls may cause her to get all stalker-like on you. Not to mention that since this woman is a friend of a friend, chances are, you'll run into her again.

The best approach is to tell her truth. You don't have to mention her flaws, just tell her she's not your type. Suck it up and explain that you've been meaning to tell her this but were afraid of hurting her feelings.

She'll be hurt, no matter what, but the hurt could be far worse if you allow this relationship to linger any longer.

Got a problem? E-mail Bianca at bphillips@memphisflyer.com.

Keep the Flyer Free!

Always independent, always free (never a paywall),
the Memphis Flyer is your source for the best in local news and information.

Now we want to expand and enhance our work.
That's why we're asking you to join us as a Frequent Flyer member.

You'll get membership perks (find out more about those here) and help us continue to deliver the independent journalism you've come to expect.


Favorite

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

News Blog

Group of White Women Test Mall’s No Hoodie Policy

Hungry Memphis

The Nine Now Open

Fly On The Wall Blog

What’s Kids in the Hall Co-Founder Kevin McDonald Doing in Memphis?

Hungry Memphis

Gordon Ramsay's in Memphis to Save a Restaurant!

News Blog

TVA CEO Set to Retire in April

News Blog

Leaders Work to Revamp Public Art Guidelines

Tiger Blue

Three Thoughts on Tiger Football

Tiger Blue

#22 LSU 85, Tigers 76

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

This Week At The Cinema: Indie Memphis Winners and BTS

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bianca Phillips

Readers also liked…

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2018

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation