EAST HIGH: MOLDING YOUNG MINDS 

EAST HIGH: MOLDING YOUNG MINDS

Some students may still be boycotting class at East High, hoping to avoid contact with dangerous mold, but recent, perhaps premature, findings suggest they have nothing to worry about. As of Tuesday, November 26, officials had toured 51 out of 160 rooms, and discovered only four areas of potential mold growth. Experts at Fly on the Wall, however, have noted that we live in a new era of global molding, and while we certainly shouldnšt ignore areas were mold is concentrated, itšs actually the smaller, isolated mold cells (sometimes called spores) scattered throughout the world we should fear the most. This multi-cellular, microscopic vegetable plant forms cobweblike masses of pure evil and projects into the air the part of the plant from which these ruthless spores develop. It must be irradiated utterly by whatever means necessary with or without UN support.

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