Fly on the Wall 

(B)ad

Former Shelby County commissioner Walter Bailey, who supports Nikki Tinker in the 9th District Democratic primary, says a commercial juxtaposing images of Congressman Steve Cohen with a Klansman isn't about race. Asked if he thought the ad would be seen as racially divisive, Bailey answered: "That may be an ancillary side of it, but that's not the main focus, and it's not the intended focus."

If we end this brief report with words like "Walter" and "Bailey" and "transparently dishonest," we hope everyone will understand it's our special way of telling kids to stay off drugs.

Awesome Headline

From the Desoto Appeal: "Horn Lake to combat crime a day early." Gosh, we hope nobody gets involved in an embarrassing temporal paradox.

(B)ad II

Nikki Tinker isn't the only 9th District candidate doing strange things on TV. In a recent commercial, Congressman Steve Cohen, a repeat visitor on Stephen Colbert's Colbert Report, plays some inside baseball with fans of the show. Cohen's political pitch flirts with gibberish as he brags about making the host's "Better Know a District" map and employs such Colbertian phrases as "truthiness," "the fighting ninth," and "the Colbert bump." Apparently, Cohen thinks he needs to shore up support among liberal Midtown hipsters.

Ongoing Elvis

Bang! Showbiz, an online tabloid from the UK, says Cybill Shepherd is haunted by Elvis. "I don't feel him in a way that I feel I have to call Ghostbusters," she's quoted as saying. "But I've been haunted by Elvis in the sense that when I knew him, he was very sweet but also seriously into drugs." Speaking of drugs, Martina McBride, Leann Rimes, Gretchen Wilson, and other female country artists are about to release an album of Christmas duets they recorded with Elvis 30 years after his death.

The ghost of Colonel Tom haunts us all.

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