Fly on the Wall 

Jesus Gloves Me

Given the current political climate, this news certainly won't make anybody mad. WREG Channel 3 has reported that St. Andrew A.M.E. Church in Memphis is using state grants to launch a billboard campaign targeting teen pregnancy. The message on one of the proposed billboards: "Don't make love without a glove."

Chicken Neck

Bill Moyers got things just about right in a recent column bemoaning how the absurd world of talk radio makes the rest of the world absurd.

"Forget what you learned in civics about the Founding Fathers," Moyers complained. "We're the children of Barnum and Bailey."

That theory was tested and proven last week on KWAM radio when Memphis' political shock jock Thaddeus Matthews interviewed mayoral hopeful Robert "Prince Mongo" Hodges, a perennial stunt candidate who defended his claim that he's a 330-year-old alien prince with a hidden spaceship capable of rescuing 333,000 souls when the earth is eventually destroyed.

Memphis' political spaceman put improving education at the center of his populist, Uzi-friendly platform. "We need to bring [our young people] up as an educated group of people, not a bunch of morons," he said after accusing local leaders of doing business in the dark of night and dodging several direct questions regarding his own financial background. "Once we've established a foothold in what we call the neckbone of the chicken, then we're going to have a smarter person. We're going to have a productive person, because he's going to want to learn. He's going to know how to learn, and he will know the difference between right and wrong."

In spite of all the chicken talk and apparent contradictions, Mongo's commentary resulted in a string of callers pledging their support and heartfelt praise from the local blogosphere.

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