Fly on the Wall 

Sign Language

Unusual church signs aren't unusual at the Rev. Kenneth Whalum Jr.'s New Olivet Baptist Church. The religious institution was also responsible for "Jesus said, 'Bring me that ass,'" an Easter message so inspirational it merited presentation in both English and Spanish. This past week's sign — immortalized by photographer Drew Mellon — is a timeless message of peace, love, and understanding: "Sunday: It's Still Time To Get Violent!" Yes, Lord.

Hot Stuff

32-year-old William Horton — not to be confused with Willie Horton, convicted murderer and nemesis of presidential candidate Michael Dukakis — was arrested for aggravated burglary last week after entering a Frayser home and stealing various items, including cologne, a generator, and sunglasses. Horton, who told police he'd broken into the house looking for car parts, also broke several bottles of hot sauce against a wall, because who wants a bunch of hot sauce staring at you when you're trying to pull a caper?

Forever Mongo

This week, ABC News interviewed Pam Lucas, president of the neighborhood association in Port Orange, Florida, where Robert "Prince Mongo" Hodges has taken up residence. In a segment titled "Prince Mongo: Bad Neighbor or Freedom Fighter," Lucas claims that Hodges' behavior has evolved from bizarre to "downright dangerous." Not only has Hodges erected clotheslines covered in women's underwear, he posted a Facebook message inviting felons to stay with him. To give the story perspective, ABC juxtaposed it with one of a man in North Carolina whose neighbor slapped him in the face with a snake.

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