Fly on the Wall 

Weird Mississippi
Nathan Mark Hardy was arrested at a Winn-Dixie grocery store in D'Iberville, Mississippi, after he was caught stuffing various food items into his pants, including two live lobsters. Hardy's pants gumbo also included a couple of bags of jumbo shrimp and a pork loin. According to a report by the Associated Press, the food thief attempted to escape by throwing the pork loin at employees but that didn't work out too well and he was arrested.

Network Failure
Have any other wireless users noticed this select network prompt at 201 Poplar? Sounds about right.

Weird Arkansas
This has to be the headline of the week: "TV Weatherman Wakes Up Next to Dead Guy in Bathtub." And it gets worse from there. Homeowner Christopher Barbour told authorities he he found Little Rock weatherman Brett Cummins of KARK-TV asleep in his tub next to a dead man wearing a dog collar. According to reports, Cummins, who had spent the night drinking and snorting drugs, woke up, saw the dead body, screamed, jumped out of the tub, and vomited on the living room carpet by Barbour's sofa.

Verbatim
Anti-school merger county commissioner Terry Roland on The Commercial Appeal and other critics (as quoted in the CA): "They can all kiss me on my entire rear end because I'm doing what the people of my district wants me to do."

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