Fly on The Wall 

N'Secure
If you are in desperate need of fabric to make a pair of pants, you probably want to visit this fabric store during the daytime. Because if you go at night, the mean old sign will laugh at your rooster and make it cry.

Doggy Style
Memphian Kimberly Lawson has been charged with sexually assaulting a German shepherd named Adam. According to a police report, neighbors observed him having sex with the dog at least three times in one hour. Witnesses say Lawson pulled down his pants, got down on his hands and knees in an alluring position, and waited for the dog to mount him. "I told Adam he didn't do anything wrong," Adam's owner Caroline Morris told a WMC news crew. "It was the man who did wrong."

Verbatim
File this under "F" for "fair weather friends." Last week, as the weather shifted from warm and sunny to cold and rainy, home viewers watched a live video of Occupy Memphis protester Alexandra Pusateri fretting about a possible encounter between police and a crowd of five protesters. "We don't even have enough people to do a 'human mic[rophone],'" she lamented.

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