Fly on the Wall 

Crunch Time

You can't keep a crunchy man down. Last week, Memphis rapper Crunchy Black was shot in the face in Las Vegas. This week, the former Three 6 Mafia member isn't just out of the hospital, he's back at work in the studio and giving slurry interviews.

The heavily bandaged (and probably medicated) Black recently appeared on "Too Real for TV" and told viewers he was "just trying to get some motherf&$%n' songs done to show all these people ain't no stopping me, man." In that same interview, Black warned would-be assailants that the haters had made him "look like Popeye and eat some spinach." He reaffirmed his brand of faith, saying, "I can't get no closer to God than I am." And leave it to Crunchy Black to get shot in the face and find a silver lining. "It motivates me like a motherf&$%er," he said.

Verbatim

Do you ever wonder who takes the bully's milk money? It's the gays, silly. At least that's what homo-hating state senator Stacey Campfield told The Tennessean after protesters responded to an announcement that Campfield had been invited to join the roster of luminaries who appear on Vestal High School's Wall of Fame. "I think the homosexual community is one of the biggest bullies in politics that there is," he said. Campfield accepted the honor, instantly transforming Vestal High's fame wall into a ticking time bomb of shame.

Tea Time

File this one under cognitive dissonance: History books say too much about slavery and not enough about liberty, according to a Fayette County Tea Party group. The activists held a press conference and distributed literature calling for new textbooks, because "Neglect and outright ill will have distorted the teaching of the history and character of the United States." Or was that a line from Gone With the Wind?

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