Fly on the Wall 

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Bee Perpaerd

With its new multilingual signage, burger chain Wendy's is ensuring customers that in the home of the square hamburger, everybody is welcome. This Wendy's on Summer advertises a "Freshly Perpaerd Srtawberry Fields Salad" salad in both English and Illiterate.

Crime Beat

Vincent Hawkins, a hothead with a history of "extreme run-ins," is behind bars after allegedly pulling a gun on Karlos Miller for saying "hello." WREG quoted Miller saying, "What you mean, what I do?! I tried to get away! I've been shot before, I wasn't trying to get shot again. ... He pulled up with three guns. I said Lord have mercy! This man is in the army, he fitting to kill me," and then he capped the interview off saying, "I just got out of jail, I ain't trying to go back."

X-Mem United

StyleBlueprint, an online magazine, reports "All 5 Senses Welcome," at the Memphis Botanic Garden's newly revamped sensory garden. The headline's clear anti-sixth-sense implications have angered area psychics who are planning a protest. Okay, that's not true, but it would be awesome.

Neverending Elvis

From a New York Times article about domestic anti-government terrorist Jerad Miller, whose wife-assisted shooting spree resulted in the death of two police officers: "He posted several pictures of the Bible and of Elvis Presley, as well as pictures of a gold-plated semiautomatic gun that belonged to the singer and was on display at an Elvis museum in Las Vegas." Yeah, the King loved guns. He loved cops too.

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