On Saturday, The Commercial Appeal's lead story "Live Right, Live Long" focused on those Social Security-busting Mid-Southerners who have cheated the Grim Reaper and lived well beyond an average life expectancy. Let us now examine the strange case of one Mrs. Wilson (formerly Rogers). According to the CA, she had two husbands: "The first, Rufus Rogers, she married in 1919. He died a year or two later, after they had a son who is now 95." After plugging these figures into our super-computer, Fly's seasoned team of mathematicians have determined that, if all the data is accurate, Ms. Wilson's son could be no older than 84. These types of arithmetical anomalies could go a long way to explaining why the CA actually believes MLGW's reports that last month's utility bills only increased by an average of $35.

Plante: How It Looks


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