Letter from the Editor 

A mysterious package came to me in the office mail last week. It was wrapped in brown paper, and there was no return address. Inside was a thick document apparently consisting of the detailed notes from a meeting between several lawyers representing O.J. Simpson.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't publish such confidential information, but since the O.J. story is now the most important issue of our time, I feel obligated to pass along some of the highlights from the transcript:

"... So it's agreed. We need a slogan."

"Yep. How about, 'It's my memorabilia, so I cannot steal,' yo?"

"That's weak. Very weak. What about, 'It's my crap, so I must beat the rap'?"

"Nope. C'mon, fellas. We can do better than that. What would Johnnie Cochran come up with? WWJCD?"

"'It was only a suit, and I did not shoot.'"

"Now, that's better. Now we're rolling. There are no bad ideas here. This is a brainstorming session."

"'It was just some threads, and nobody's dead.'"

"Ehhh. Nah."

"'What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'?"

"Been done. Too obvious."

"'Since when is it a crime to be stupid '?"

"I don't think that's quite the image we're looking for."

"I know — 'Room service! Room Service!'"

"Now that's stupid."

"Hey, you said there were no bad ideas."

"Well, that one's bad."

"Could we get Ashton Kutcher to say it was a wacky, over-the-top episode of Punked ?"

"Please."

"I've got it! I've got it. 'It's my shit, so you must acquit!' "

"Now that's a winner. Gentlemen, I believe this meeting is over."

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

We Saw You

Military Masquerade, Maciel's Highland, The Gray Canary

Hungry Memphis

Beer Bracket Challenge, Round 2

Blurb

Tayari Jones Reading at the Orpheum

Hungry Memphis

Muddy's Bake Shop Turns 10

Tiger Blue

Tigers 91, #23 Houston 85

Intermission Impossible

Dead in the Water: New Moon's "Eurydice" is wet and wonderful

Politics Beat Blog

Alexander Touts Tax Bill, Offers Proposals on Guns and Immigration

News Blog

Memphis Pets of the Week

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bruce VanWyngarden

Readers also liked…

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2018

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation