Letter from the Editor 

This is a story of man versus wild, played out in the blistering summer heat of Memphis, Tennessee. It's a story of love, passion, and persistence, of wills and willpower, of victory and defeat.

The tale began in late May, when my wife bought a bird-feeder and hung it from a plant hanger on the corner of our garage. I look back now at those days of innocence and smile — at how we watched for a week, hoping in vain for a bird, any bird, to find our offering. And then, how happy we were when they came. And come they did, in great numbers — cardinals, finches, sparrows, red-bellied woodpeckers, mourning doves, ring-necked doves, cowbirds, grackles, blue jays, and more. We had to start filling the feeder every morning.

But we didn't mind. We sat outside with our coffee and looked upon our work, and it was good. What's $10 a week in birdseed, we thought, when it brings such pleasure to all?

And then came the furry, gray intruders. Squirrels. At first, they were content to forage on the ground, seemingly unable to get to the feeder. Then I looked out one morning and watched as one jumped, from a trellis more than four feet away to the feeder. I rehung the feeder farther away. The next morning, I watched a squirrel boomerang up onto the feeder from a small bush. I trimmed the bush back. The next morning, I watched a squirrel drop off the garage roof, land in a hanging fern, then leap four feet across to the feeder. They were starting to tick me off. I moved the fern.

The following morning, again, a squirrel was on the feeder, gorging itself. I have no idea how it got there. I walked closer, and the squirrel didn't move, thinking, I suppose, that I wouldn't notice him sitting on the far side of the feeder. I grabbed the base of the feeder, pulled it slowly toward me, and swung it as hard as I could. Is it wrong that I got enormous pleasure from watching the little bastard fly spread-eagle through the air? I don't care. I want to feed the birds, not fatten up every squirrel in Midtown.

I hung the feeder farther under the eaves, and it's been several days since I've seen a squirrel make it to the promised land. They have learned to content themselves with the seeds the birds knock to the ground. I don't even mind that they've turned the birdbath into a squirrel bath. It's summer, after all. I can spare the water. I also bought a BB pistol, but I think we're good for now.

Bruce VanWyngarden

brucev@memphisflyer.com

Comments (41)

Showing 1-25 of 41

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-25 of 41

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

We Saw You

GRRL FEST celebrates women in music

News Blog

Memphis Pets Alive (May 25-31)

Hungry Memphis

On the Scene at Barbecue Fest

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Twin Peaks and American Gods Bring Surrealism To TV

News Blog

Beale Street Bucks Gets Heated Debate

News Blog

Garner Recovery Fund Surpasses Goal in One Day

From My Seat

Lord Stanley Comes to Tennessee

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Bruce VanWyngarden

Readers also liked…

  • Why The Fuss?

    • Nov 17, 2016
  • Serious Christians

    What is the picture on your computer's desktop screen? Your kids? Your dog? Maybe a memorable vacation photo? Mine is a shot I took one October morning in 2012 as I was about to wade into the Little Red River. A mist is coming off the water, lit golden by a rising sun. The streamside trees are glowing yellow and red and that pale, dry green that says autumn is here. The photo captures everything I like about being on a stream. I put it on my computer so I'd see it each morning when I began to work — a reminder of the beauty that's so easy to lose sight of in the hustle of everyday life ...
    • Oct 8, 2015
  • Lightning Strikes

    It's deep in a November night in Memphis, and I'm awakened by rain. It's coming down hard, sounding like a million pebbles hitting the roof. The gutter I've been meaning to clean is overflowing outside the bedroom window. A flash of lightning illuminates the room, and I do what I've done since I was a boy: count the seconds 'til the thunder rolls. I get almost to 10 before I hear a distant rumble. Two miles or so. Someone else's lightning ...

    • Nov 19, 2015
ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation