Suffering From Trump-itis? 

This president makes me sick. Literally. After enduring relentless night sweats during restless sleep, I felt light-headed and dizzy. Any exertion left me exhausted. I thought a nice shower might help, but I ended up having to lie down while attempting to zen away my rapid, palpitating heartbeat. Walking from bedroom to den was encumbered with an equilibrium imbalance that left me clutching the wall. I didn't know what was happening to me. I tried to act calmly so as not to frighten my wife, but Melody could see through my charade and suggested we go to the emergency room.

Rather than go to the ER on a Saturday night, we instead called the doctor's service, which asked if we had a blood pressure monitor in the house. When Melody hooked me up and the cuff finally loosened from my bicep, my blood pressure was off the charts. A Xanax eased the situation until I could call my doctor on Monday. By miraculous luck, someone had canceled their three o'clock appointment and I was able to grab it. When my blood work was suspect, I was sent to a nephrologist, then a urologist, before returning to my primary doctor. The prognosis? Hypertension combined with acid reflux was disturbing my stability.

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So, now I'm on daily blood pressure and digestive medications. When I asked the doctor if he had any further instructions, he said, "Turn off the news and play more guitar."

But it's hard to ignore or escape the American Horror Story sitting in the White House. After the thoroughly co-opted and corrupted Republican Senate aquitted the president from two articles of impeachment, the gaseous windbag felt emboldened enough to take a couple of victory laps. After President Clinton's impeachment, Wild Bill appeared in the Rose Garden alone, showed contrition, and apologized to the country for his indiscretions that prompted the R-rated ordeal that followed.

Trump chose to show up at the annual prayer breakfast, ordinarily a non-political event that focuses on faith, and launch a diatribe against his perceived enemies, calling the top FBI officials "scum" and questioning Nancy Pelosi's faith while she sat just feet away. Trump addressed the gathering declaring: "As everybody knows, my family, our great country, and your president have been put through a terrible ordeal by some very dishonest and corrupt people." He could just as well have been referring to his rotten cabinet that cheered him on.

Appearing in the East Room of the White House after the breakfast, Trump instigated a vendetta against impeachment witnesses that would have made Richard Nixon blanch. Referring to fired FBI Director James Comey as "that sleazebag" and Nancy Pelosi as "a horrible person," Trump gathered his minions, sent them out on cable TV, and prepared to get some payback.

Gordon Sondland, the million-dollar Republican donor recalled from his post as ambassador to the European Union, was the first victim of Trump's retribution. Then, "simmering with rage," as his aides attested, Trump had impeachment witness Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman fired from his position on the National Security Council and escorted by security guards from the White House grounds — along with his twin brother, who had nothing to do with the impeachment, just in case Trump couldn't tell them apart.

Only a month ago, Trump pardoned an Army soldier convicted of war crimes. Now he's dismissed a decorated veteran who had earned a Purple Heart in combat. Trump then asked the Pentagon to investigate Vindman for any potential wrongdoing. The Pentagon declined.

The idiot man-child then demanded that the House "expunge" his impeachment, calling the whole thing a "hoax." Like the Bizarro Superman of comic book fame, Trump protects the guilty while punishing the innocent.

Emboldened by his acquittal, Trump began to purge the unfaithful from his administration, enlisting the Justice Department and Trump's slavish attorney general, William Barr, to exact revenge on his critics. Trump's obedient protector immediately appointed an outside prosecutor to examine the origins of the investigation into the former National Security Advisor and disgraced convicted liar Michael Flynn. After that, Barr interfered with the sentencing recommendations of convicted comic villain Roger Stone. All four government prosecutors resigned from the case, prompting more than 1,100 former prosecutors and Justice Department officials to call for Barr's resignation.

I say impeach his ass again. Seriously. This bloated megalomaniac thinks because he was acquitted by a fearful Republican Senate that he's home free to continue his work as capo of the Trump crime family. There were at least 10 more charges of obstruction of justice outlined in the Mueller report. They weren't included in this impeachment go-round because Robert Mueller wasn't very telegenic and failed to move public opinion. Mueller clearly stated that the outlaw president could not be charged only because of a legal "opinion" that prevents a sitting president from indictment. Mueller told congress, "If we had had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime, we would have said so." He never said so. In fact, Mueller reported to the shyster Attorney General that his probe found "multiple acts by the president that were capable of exerting undue influence over law enforcement investigations," which translates into a profusion of abuse of power.

Mueller's 448-page report was dismissed after most Americans didn't bother reading it. I ordered the report in book form, but the print was small enough to require a magnifying glass, and was so dense, it was like trying to read War and Peace in Sanskrit.

It didn't matter. All of Mueller's evidence of criminality was ignored. No president in history has been more deserving of removal from office than this counterfeit con man. Until this cruel fool is displaced from our collective reality, I'll be here at home — playing the guitar.

Randy Haspel writes the "Recycled Hippies" blog.

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