the Cheat Sheet 

News you need to know

1. New England defeats Philadelphia in Super Bowl XXXIX. We estimate that 94% of Memphians have the same thought at some point during the game: "Damn. We were this close to having our own team." 2. Former medical examiner O.C. Smith goes on trial. He is accused of staging a bizarre incident that left him with a bomb strapped to his neck. Out of all the cases that Smith has been involved in, his own may be the most mysterious.

3. President Bush unveils a new budget that will slash funding for local police departments and the EPA. Hey, as long as we keep our tax cuts, who cares about crime or pollution?

4. A fellow known (inexplicably) as "Car Wash Pete" tries to burglarize a home but gets caught by two neighbors, who beat him up. The "good samaritans" are subsequently arrested for assault and friends raise money for their bail. For us, it's just another day in "The City of Good Abode."

5. Memphis Marriage Week begins. Event organizers stress the benefits of marriage, such as longer life spans and federal tax breaks. n

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