The Cheat Sheet 

1Collierville High School officials go into high alert when several teens enter the woods near the school carrying knives and a pistol. The gun, it turns out, is just a pellet gun, and the teens are supposedly filming a movie. Just a few suggestions for the would-be Oscar winners: Next time, get yourself a better location manager. And do this on a weekend, so you don't freak out the whole school.

2 Elvis Presley's former home at 1034 Audubon sells for more than $900,000. The previous owners bought the property for $180,000 just eight years ago, so the King would surely be proud of the way they've been "taking care of business."

3 Budget cuts force the city's Parks Services Division to close four public swimming pools. We can remember the days when the fire department would open up hydrants and kids would play in the cold water gushing down the street. Not exactly safe, but has it come to that?

4 Christianity Today names ECS one of the best places in America for Christians to work. Considering that the name of the school is Evangelical Christian, is that really a surprise? And just to be devilish, does that news really merit page-one mentions in sections A and B of The Commercial Appeal, with both accompanied by huge color photos?

5 Universities, colleges, and high schools across the city send their graduates out into the real world, where they will encounter unemployment, global terrorism, global warming, and even the bird flu. Not since the Depression or World War II have graduates faced such an interesting future. Best of luck to you!

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