The Cheat Sheet 

1 Good news: Memphis gets $4.2 million from the federal government. Bad news: It's because our city has officially been declared a terrorist target. As an official with the Department of Homeland Security pointed out, "The list isn't something to strive to be on." Meanwhile, New York City gets a 40 percent cut in its terrorist funding, because those same federal officials declare it has "zero" national monuments or icons. Well, we can certainly think of two -- until terrorists destroyed them.

2 The Memphis Fire Department decides to paint its white ambulances red and white so they will match the city's fire trucks. A spokesman says this will let people know if an ambulance is city-operated or privately run. But the person who calls one really doesn't care what color it is, as long as it gets there in time.

3 The Fayette County School Board mulls over a parent's request to ban Of Mice and Men from the school system's reading list. It's a shame that Nobel Prize-winning authors like John Steinbeck didn't keep the "vulgarity" out of their works.

4 Yet another reason to be proud -- so very proud -- to live in Memphis. We have apparently asked the Guinness Book of World Records to certify that we have the largest manhole in the world. At 48 feet long and 8 feet deep, it covers -- oh, what are we saying? Who cares?

5 The University of Memphis archaeology teams have so far failed to locate any mummies in the tomb they discovered in Egypt. Even so, it's an amazing accomplishment for the school, and it's time Memphis got some positive national publicity.

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