WE RECOMMEND (THE COMPASSIONATE PART) 

WE RECOMMEND (THE COMPASSIONATE PART)

Ya know, I have written this column more than 500 times, and there are weeks when there’s just not much to say. This is one of those weeks. Yeah, the Bush daughters are probably good material, but I feel sorry for them. The nickname jokes (“Jen” and “Tonic”) are pretty good. The old what do you call President Bush’s daughter in a quarry -- Jen on the rocks -- isn’t bad, either. I did love Julia Roberts’ comments about not giving them a hard time because they are George Bush’s daughters and have that cross to bear. I knew she was a person of compassion. But I really do feel sorry for them, in a way. They really can’t help being born into that family and shouldn’t be blamed for simply being the Bush twins. Sure, they could have fled and changed their identities, but they chose to stick it out and make the best of it. And they are just college girls trying to have a good time. But trying to buy a drink with someone else’s ID? C’mon, Jen. You can do better than that. Trying to tie one on with an ID bearing someone else’s photo isn’t going to land you in the hallowed company of rocket scientists. Don’t be such a redneck. You must become a little more creative than that. You are, after all, the daughter of the president of the United States. Why not just keep some booze around the house? Dad can’t read the label, so just put the hooch in there with your toiletries and leave it at that. Get a flask. Get one of those water bottles cyclists use and fill ‘er up with whatever poison strikes your fancy. It’s all about NOT GETTING CAUGHT. And now I’m tired of writing about that. Did anyone else see the photo of Sally Struthers on the front page of USA Today last week as she attended Carroll O’Connor’s funeral? How cruel was that? Having been on a diet since the age of 7 and knowing how difficult it is to lose weight, I understand the trials and tribulations of the force of gravity and the toll it takes on one’s high school figure, so I feel for her too. My suggestion is stay out from in front of the camera and brush your hair once in a while. Keep up the good work you do for kids or animals or whatever it is, but take that loot from the rerun royalties and have a little work done here and there. It’s not a sin. Poor Sally. And now I’m tired of writing about that. In fact, I’m just plain old tired. Tired as George Bush in debate class. Tired as Jenna Bush at an O’Doul’s convention. Tired, tired, tired.

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Blogs

Tiger Blue

Louisville 81, Tigers 72

Film/TV/Etc. Blog

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Beyond the Arc

THE GRIZZLIES WON A BASKETBALL GAME

News Blog

Public Picks Zoo Parking Lot Plan

Politics Beat Blog

Left Activists Intrude on Meeting of Shelby County Democrats

Politics Beat Blog

GOP Figure Bill Giannini Killed in Car Crash

Politics Beat Blog

Mackler Out of Senate Race, Yields to Bredesen

Beyond the Arc

The Hustle Dispatch: Week 6

News Blog

Cooper-Young Nears Historical Landmark Status

Intermission Impossible

Bad Santa: Tennessee Shakespeare turns Godot into a Holiday Hellscape

ADVERTISEMENT

More by Tim Sampson

ADVERTISEMENT
© 1996-2017

Contemporary Media
460 Tennessee Street, 2nd Floor | Memphis, TN 38103
Visit our other sites: Memphis Magazine | Memphis Parent | Inside Memphis Business
Powered by Foundation