Awkward
Arnaldo Chamorro, chief of staff for Paraguay’s Agriculture Ministry, lost his position on Nov. 29 after an embarrassing episode in which he signed a “proclamation” in October with the United States of Kailasa, Fox News reported. Trouble is, the USK doesn’t exist; the fictional country is the brainchild of a fugitive guru, Nithyananda, who is wanted in India on several charges including sexual assault. Chamorro admitted during a radio interview that he was not familiar with Kailasa but said he signed the agreement because the country offered to help Paraguay with a variety of issues, including irrigation. News of the Weird has reported before (March 2023) about the posers, who have also fooled the United Nations and Newark City Hall in New Jersey, which signed a sister city agreement with the country. [Fox News, 11/30/2023]
The Way the World Works
Can’t a grandma send her grandson home with an early Christmas gift without raising suspicions among the TSA? No, she can’t. Actor Brett Gaffney headed back to Los Angeles on Nov. 25 after spending Thanksgiving in his native Kansas, People reported. At Kansas City International Airport, he said, “I got stopped at the airport security, and … it was because of this briefcase my grandma gave me as an early Christmas gift, and she said don’t open it until you get to California.” Gaffney followed her directions, but TSA wasn’t having it. “They asked me what was inside, and I said, ‘I don’t know, I don’t know.’ They said, ‘What do you mean? You’re bringing a briefcase and you don’t know what’s inside?’” Turns out, Gaffney’s nana had gifted him a vintage Smith-Corona typewriter. “Who am I, Tom Hanks?” Gaffney joked. He continued his story on TikTok: “I didn’t think I’d use this, but here we are. It’s so calming. All I want to do is stay home and type on my typewriter.” Thanks, Grandma. [People, 12/4/2023]
Crime Report
After getting a Waffle House logo tattooed on his calf on Dec. 2 in St. Petersburg, Florida, 33-year-old Max Alexander Krejckant of Clearwater “refused all options to satisfy his debts,” police said — which amounted to $250. As a result, The Smoking Gun reported, he was arrested at the Ink Godz shop; police found only $6 and a driver’s license on his person when he was frisked (although they noted he was under the influence of something). Krejckant bonded out and pleaded not guilty (huge Waffle House tattoo evidence notwithstanding). Wonder what the charge is for bad inking decisions? [Smoking Gun, 12/4/2023]
Animal Antics
The mystery of who has been slashing tires in the southern Italian city of Vastogirardi has been solved, The Guardian reported. The wave of damaged tires began in July and ramped up again in October in the town of about 600 residents, forcing police to place undercover cops on patrol. Finally, they mounted surveillance cameras, and in late November, they collared their suspect: a dog named Billy, who was suffering from a painful case of gingivitis. “It is a peaceful village — we knew it couldn’t be anyone from outside as we are always aware of any suspicious movements,” said deputy mayor Remo Scocchera. “It’s a positive thing that the perpetrator wasn’t a person in the village.” Still, Billy’s owner will probably have to pony up for the damaged tires — not to mention dental work. [Guardian, 12/4/2023]
The Passing Parade
Rosemary Hayne, 39, lost her temper (and rice, and sauce, and everything else) when she berated a Chipotle manager in Parma, Ohio, and then threw a bowl of food at her in September, Food & Wine reported. Hayne tried to run out of the restaurant, but other diners captured her license plate number and contacted police, who arrested her on Sept. 5. On Nov. 28, Judge Timothy Gilligan offered Hayne one of two sentences for her “not acceptable” behavior: the standard sentence of a fine and 180 days in jail, or 60 days in jail and working 20 hours a week at a fast-food restaurant for two months. Hayne apologized to the court and the victim and accepted the custom sentence. “She could have punched me in my face or pulled a gun out,” said the victim. “I’m lucky that I only got a bowl thrown in my face.” She has found a job at another restaurant. [Food & Wine, 12/5/2023]
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