Only You Can Prevent Stupidity
When an unnamed man got caught after stealing Smokey Bear signs from state forests in Florida, Smokey himself was on hand to aid in the arrest, WTSP-TV reported on July 31. Agriculture Commissioner Wilton Simpson said the suspect had traveled from Pensacola to Orlando, lifting the signs and posting them on Facebook Marketplace for $1,900 each. Smokey held the door open for the perp as he entered the patrol truck and was seen in the driverโs seat after the arrest. [WTSP, 7/31/2025]
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
After the large earthquake on July 29 in western Russia, tsunami warnings were communicated all the way to the U.S. West Coast. A Norwegian Cruise Lines ship docked at Hilo, Hawaii, took heed and left the port for the safety of its guests. But a group of passengers who were still on shore got the warning of the shipโs departure too late, KHON-TV reported. Eric Anderson and his father were separated from their family, who had gone back to the ship. Anderson said the ship had texted that it would leave at 4 p.m., but it departed closer to 3:30. Fortunately, local residents transported the stranded passengers to Waiakea High School, where they spent the night. They were reunited with their families on July 30 after the warnings were canceled. [KHON, 7/30/2025]
Sports Whiplash
On July 31, as the Tampa Bay Rays battled the New York Yankees in the Bronx, one player ended up โwinning today regardless,โ the Associated Press reported. Jose Caballero, 28, started the game with the Rays and played through the sixth inning. But during the seventh-inning stretch, he was traded to the Yankees. The deal was announced after the rain-delayed game, which the Yankees won. Caballero reportedly hugged his Tampa teammates in the dugout, then turned up in the Yankees clubhouse to conduct his post-game interview. [AP, 7/31/2025]
Police Report
Boy, Chuck E. Cheese is a hotbed of weird behavior these days. This installment involves a brawl that took place on July 26 at a location in Mobile, Alabama. WKRG-TV reported that witnesses said about 20 people were fighting because a teenage boy โgot upset about something.โ โThey started fighting as I was walking by,โ said a girl who was hit in the face, โand then they punched me on accident.โ The Mobile Police Department is investigating by watching surveillance video and reaching out to those involved. Public Information Officer Roderick Miles advised that people in such circumstances โtry to do something thatโs going to result in better decisions than fighting at a freaking Chuck E. Cheese.โ [WKRG, 7/30/2025]
Fish Flambรฉ, Sโil Vous Plaรฎt
Fire investigators in British Columbia, Canada, discovered an unlikely culprit in a brush fire that knocked out power in the town of Ashcroft on July 30: a hungry osprey. Ashcroft Fire Rescue posted on social media that the peckish avian pulled a large fish from a river about two miles away, but as it labored to fly with its super-sized meal in the July heat, it became tired and eventually dropped the fish … directly onto a power line, which sparked the blaze in the dry grass below. NBC Bay Area reported that it took about 4,800 gallons of water to stop the fire โ quite a lot of trouble over a bird whose eyes were bigger than its stomach. โAnother suspicion could be that itโs tired of raw fish and wanted to give cooked a try,โ the post from Ashcroft Fire Rescue said. [NBC Bay Area, 8/5/2025]
New World Order
A zoo in northern Denmark has made an unsettling request of pet owners in Aalborg, the Associated Press reported. In a July 31 Facebook post, the zoo suggested, โIf you have an animal that has to leave here for various reasons, feel free to donate it to us.โ Not for a domestic pet display, mind you. The zoo is planning to โgently euthanizeโ the donated animals and feed them to its predators. Zoo officials said theyโre trying to mimic the natural food chain, calling out specifically guinea pigs, rabbits, and chickens as preferred donations. โThat way, nothing goes to waste โ and we ensure natural behavior, nutrition, and well-being of our predators,โ the post read. [AP, 8/4/2025]
NEWS OF THE WEIRD
ยฉ 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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