Fran gives snow a hard pass. (Photo: Shara Clark)

Itโ€™s 11ยฐ right now. ELEVEN. And it โ€œfeels likeโ€ -2ยฐ. My weather app says todayโ€™s high will be 18ยฐ, around 2 p.m., and the low will be 5ยฐ. What it โ€œfeels likeโ€ to me, when I step out to let the dogs do their business is: immediately no. The pups agree. It took a lot of coaxing โ€” and a good deal of shoveling โ€” Monday to get them to go outside at all. Fran and Steve are long-haired miniature dachshunds, weighing in around 10 or 12 pounds, give or take. Theyโ€™re up to their bellies in the blanket of white stuff in their (yes, itโ€™s theirs) backyard. At first, Steve went out loudly barking in confusion. โ€œWhere is the green stuff? I canโ€™t frolic in this mess!โ€ Fran cautiously walked down the back-porch ramp only to step into the cold and turn right back around. โ€œI have to tee-tee, but โ€” immediately no,โ€ she huffed. So I took to shoveling to reveal a patch of โ€” still frozen โ€” grass and dirt for them, wishing Iโ€™d clicked โ€œadd to cartโ€ on the little dog boots Iโ€™d been eyeballing last week online. Alas, we make do. 

Weโ€™re back in the warm house for now, and weโ€™re grateful the heatโ€™s still running and the pipes havenโ€™t frozen (well, the hot water line in the kitchen gave me a scare, but itโ€™s flowing again, thank the stars). Early this morning, ABC News reported (in its article โ€œArctic blast grips US as snow and ice spread from Louisiana to Maineโ€), โ€œMore than 200 million Americans are on alert Tuesday for heavy snow, ice, and dangerously low wind chills as an arctic blast grips the nation,โ€ and โ€œWeather-related school closures are affecting more than a million students nationwide on Tuesday.โ€ Gosh, I remember being so excited about snow days as a kid. I even recall a few years ago my dogs enjoying the snow. But that was without the โ€œdangerously lowโ€ temps part. And it was also before I became a homeowner, worrying about additional insulation, disconnecting the water hose and covering the spigot, and finding that perfect drip for the faucets so the plumbing doesnโ€™t suffer a fatality. Memphis wasnโ€™t made for this โ€” our old houses, ancient trees, and power grid arenโ€™t fit for teens or single-digit temperatures. And as a Southerner, Iโ€™m most certainly not. But, please hold. Iโ€™m going to try something โ€ฆ

After all that complaining about the weather above, I decided to trek to the U of M campus on foot. Of course, I was reminded as soon as I stepped out my front door that Iโ€™m the clumsiest person I know and tend to sprain my ankle in a gentle breeze, but I made the round trip โ€” slow and steady โ€” without injury. Iโ€™m back at my laptop now, snow-blind. Itโ€™s a sunny 15ยฐ (feels like 4ยฐ). There were a handful of cars out and about in the neighborhood and four other people walking โ€” Iโ€™m guessing also trying to trick themselves into thinking they donโ€™t mind it too much. Iโ€™m still not a fan, but itโ€™s quieter than usual, and the snow crunching underfoot and the chill on my face was a decent lunch-break refresher. There was evidence of donuts in the U of M parking lot (so at least someone had some fun?), and the piles of snow accentuated the garbage bags of leaves and thrown-out mattresses and old toilets that have been sitting on the curb for weeks awaiting city debris pickup. But I digress. 

Iโ€™ll try to remain as positive as possible, and I hope you all enjoy your snow angels and snowmen. There is certainly some beauty in it, Iโ€™ll admit. I hope your pups are frolicking despite the cold. I hope your pipes remain intact and that our cityโ€™s power keeps powering our lights and heat. 

The icicles are melting in the sun, but I hear weโ€™re expecting a round of โ€œmixed winter precipitationโ€ come Thursday, followed by more โ€œdangerously lowโ€ lows. To that, I say โ€” in solidarity with my fur-babes โ€” immediately no. 

Stay safe and warm, folks.ย