Photo: Courtesy Golden Girls: The Laughs Continue

Picture it: Miami. 2024. The Golden Girls are still up and at โ€™em. Sophiaโ€™s out on bail, naturally. The DEA busted her for running a drug ring for retirees. Meanwhile, Blanche and Rose have founded a dating app for seniors thatโ€™s doing quite well (of course); itโ€™s even landed Dorothy her current beau, who just so happens to be Sophiaโ€™s prosecuting attorney. Sounds about right, doesnโ€™t it? The cast of Golden Girls: The Laughs Continue seem to think so.

The parody show, done completely in drag, will take over the Orpheumโ€™s stage on Thursday, March 28th. โ€œI like to say itโ€™s like meeting an old friend in a new place, with all the ingredients you know,โ€ says Vince Kelley, who plays Blanche. โ€œWe got the taglines, we got the โ€˜picture its,โ€™ but weโ€™re talking about cell phones and apps and all this stuff from today.

โ€œSo itโ€™s fun because the show was so in its time,โ€ Kelley continues. โ€œThey were so quick on the references; something would happen in the news and theyโ€™d be talking about it on the show in the next two weeks. We like to embrace that as well. The show is never the same twice; if thereโ€™s something going on in the world, weโ€™re going to find a way to bring it into the world of The Golden Girls for that night.โ€

Kelley says The Golden Girls was a fixture in his household growing up. โ€œI remember being like 5, 6, 7, and my grandma would watch it all the time and I used to call it the โ€˜old lady show.โ€™ โ€˜Oh, are we gonna watch the old lady show?โ€™ And then when Nick at Nite was big and they started putting them in syndication, I was just obsessed, watched every episode. โ€ฆ [But] you can only watch every episode so many times, so [this show] is like getting to experience something new.โ€

For Kelley, choosing to play Blanche was a no-brainer. โ€œShe doesnโ€™t take herself too seriously at all. She doesnโ€™t mind being a bit of a joke and she had the best clothes, so that was a big draw for me,โ€ he says. โ€œIf I had to pick a second it would be Sophia just because she doesnโ€™t filter. Iโ€™m not quite there yet. When Iโ€™m old enough to play Blanche, then I can finally play Sophia.โ€

Kelley goes on to say, โ€œYou find different times in your life that youโ€™ll relate to different characters. Itโ€™s part of the reason that people in the LGBTQ community are so drawn to them. Theyโ€™re just these four big over-the-top, powerhouse comedians.โ€

While this show might not be the cable-friendly Golden Girls (โ€œItโ€™s like The Golden Girls if they moved to HBO,โ€ Kelley says), the cast have strived to stay true to their characters. โ€œWhen we come on stage, weโ€™re just here to have a good time,โ€ Kelley says. โ€œAnd I think the spirit of the Golden Girls helps us through that every night. โ€ฆ We know that they would be like 100 percent on board with what weโ€™ve come up with.โ€

Golden Girls: The Laughs Continue, Orpheum Theatre, 203 S. Main, Thursday, March 28, 7:30 p.m., $44-$69, 18+.