It’s the moment we’ve all been waiting for—the weekend when Cocaine Bear comes out to play! Based on the true story of a God-fearing Tennessee ursine led to drug-fueled damnation in Georgia by a forest cachet of yayo, this promises to be the most accurately named junt since Snakes On A Plane. Elizabeth Banks directs Keri Russell, O’Shea Jackson Jr., and one completely wrecked bear.
Murder bear week continues with Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey. To answer your first question, yes, this is a real movie. British schlockmiester Rhys Frake-Waterfield noticed that Winnie the Pooh passed into the public domain in 2022, and now he’s here to destroy and corrupt the only thing in your childhood that gave you comfort. Thanks a lot, dude.
In Bunker, a squad of soldiers is trapped underground with a malevolent presence in this atmospheric horror flick. Is it a bear? Probably not, but a guy can dream, can’t he?
Director M. Night Shyamalan returns with his latest psychological thriller, Knock at the Cabin. A young family on a mountain vacation is terrorized when a hulking figure appears at the door. Is it a bear? Kinda—it’s Dave Bautista, here to present the mother of all trolly problems.
If you’ve had enough of bears, Saturday night is the February edition of the Time Warp Drive-In, where you can watch two towering masterpieces of Blaxploitation cinema. Shaft was a huge hit in 1971 that won Isaac Hayes an Academy Award. That meant that in 1972, Shaft’s Big Score could afford to blow up a helicopter. Witness the power of Shaft.