Sure, your grandparents loved you, but did they love you enough to put a picture of you and your siblings on the bottom of an ashtray? I think not. Check, and mate, my friend.
If you look at the photo accompanying this column, you’ll see me (middle) and my brothers mugging for the camera in clothes made by my stepmom. It was taken in the 1960s, probably for Easter, and was on the wall in my parents’ house for a long while. I’m guessing they must have given a copy to my paternal grandparents, at least one of whom thought, “Hey, I’ll put this in the bottom of an ashtray so I’ll think of the boys whenever I crush out a Camel.”
My sister found the ashtray in a long-unopened box last week and sent me a picture of it. It was truly a “WTF?” moment, and we had a good laugh over the phone. But that’s because we were looking at it through the social mores of 2022 rather than those of 60 years ago, when smoking was acceptable and decorative ashtrays of one sort or another were displayed in most people’s houses. My grandfather was a physician and smoked like a wet campfire all his life. Having an ashtray with a photo of his grandkids was probably normal back then. I assume. I hope.
I shared the photo with my brothers and the rest of my family via social media and we had a good laugh — or at least some good emojis and text exchanges. These kinds of familial artifacts are like archeological finds, evoking memories long buried. We shouldn’t take them for granted.
I wonder, for example, how much family memorabilia was destroyed in Luhansk, Ukraine, last week, when a Russian tank pulled up in front of a home for the aged and opened fire, killing 56 elderly people. “They just adjusted the tank, put it in front of the house, and started firing,” an official told The New York Times. Lives and memories lost forever in the rubble.
These stories keep emerging. It’s like an enormous, crushing boulder, seemingly unstoppable. Each day brings new tales of horror, of bombed schools, of proud, once-vibrant cities being blasted apart block by block, of Ukrainian civilians being put in trucks and shuttled back to camps in Russia.
Almost as horrifying are the Americans who support this evil or who look for rationalizations or suggest providing an “off-ramp” for Putin. This would include the Republican senators who were fine with former President Trump withholding arms and supplies from Ukraine for political purposes, and who are now hypocritically raging that President Biden isn’t sending enough. Marsha Blackburn, I’m looking at you.
We’re way past the time to let domestic politics have any part in this struggle. This is a pivotal moment in world history. Are we big enough as a country to rise to the occasion? Or do we waste our energy hating the president of Mar-a-Lago or shouting, “Let’s Go, Brandon”?
Maybe, instead, we should be thinking about how many families have been destroyed by Vladimir Putin’s forces in attacks on more than 50 hospitals. Hospitals! And about how many lives and families have been ended or ruined because of cruel attacks on apartment buildings, schools, grocery stores, and homes? If it helps humanize the situation, maybe think about how much family memorabilia has been left behind by the 10 million Ukrainians displaced from their homes by this merciless, unprovoked assault on their country.
A crucible is coming. We can’t keep appeasing a murderous sociopath with the lives of innocents, hoping he will stop if we keep enough Big Macs and credit cards from his people. How many more civilians have to die before we realize the Russian leader just doesn’t care? What is the level of evil we will tolerate before we call his bluff, before we finally put Vladimir Putin’s picture in the ashtray of history?
We’re going to find out soon.
