Let me tell you, friends, there are weeks when writing this column is a slog. You search your brain for a subject about which you can offer 725 words of original thought and you come up with bupkis.

Other weeks, the world is generous and just gift-wraps something for you. It’s like manna from heaven or in this week’s case, manna from hell. And for that I am grateful. Thank you, Satan.

The fun started when a flyer with the headline, “Hey Kids, Let’s Have Fun at After School Satan Club,” caught the attention of some parents and the local media. According to the flyer, the first meeting of a fun new club apparently dedicated to promoting Lucifer-lovin’ to local kiddos was scheduled for January 10th at Chimneyrock Elementary in Cordova.

Pearls were clutched and outrage was churned. People were mad as, uh, hell. The flyer was soon all over the TV news and the Memphis-Shelby County Schools board was forced to hold a press conference last Wednesday to explain the situation.

“Satan has no room in this district,” said Althea E. Greene, MSCS Board chair. To emphasize the point, a group of 40 or so pastors and faith leaders joined in.

“They threaten to rent a facility under the First Amendment right and they entice us into saying no, and of course, they take us to court and then they look for a settlement,” said Bill Adkins, pastor of Greater Imani Church. He’s right. The organization settled a lawsuit with a school district in Pennsylvania for $200,000 for blocking the organization from using its facilities.

“We don’t go to a school unless there is another religious club operating,” said June Everett, the national campaign director for After School Satan Club. So there’s the rub, Beelzebub. You don’t get to pick and choose which “religious” groups can rent your facilities. It’s all or none. Such divine comedy.

According to MSCS policy, nonprofit community groups are allowed to rent school property for events, meetings, and other functions. Groups such as the Christian-based Good News Club and the Boy Scouts of America are among the nonprofits using facilities after school hours. The Satanic Temple is a legitimate 501(c)(3) public charity and nonprofit recognized by the IRS.

MSCS board member Mauricio Calvo was quoted in the Daily Memphian: “We have a portal on the MSCS website where any organization that is recognized by the IRS has the possibility to rent facilities. Being a public facility, we had to make our facilities accessible. If we let a church rent space from us, does the pastor have to submit his or her sermon days before? If that is the will of the board and the people, then we’ll have to change the policies. This is very new, and there’s no precedent in Tennessee.

“We’re going to continue to engage the public, legal team, state legislatures on what can be done,” Calvo concluded. “Ultimately, participation is going to be the parents’ decision. For now, this is the law. For now, we have to comply.”

Interim Superintendent Toni Williams added, “We can support the First Amendment and support our students at the same time.” That seems like a good plan.

Upon closer inspection, it seems obvious that the Satanic Temple is basically an organization dedicated to trolling for outrage — and perhaps a few bucks. Old Nick is just their snazzy front man, a way to get attention. The ASSC has been holding meetings and events in public schools around the country since 2016.

According to the group’s flyer, the organization is a “non-theistic religion that views Satan as a literary figure who represents a metaphorical construct of rejecting tyranny and championing the human mind and spirit.” Which isn’t very scary, even if it is a bit pretentious.

The flyer says the ASSC “does not attempt to convert children to any religion or ideology,” and “supports children to think for themselves.” The group claims that it’s dedicated to promoting a “scientific, rationalist, non-superstitious worldview” via puzzles and games, nature activities, arts and crafts, science projects, and community service. That doesn’t sound too horrible. Plus, there will be snacks, presumably devil’s food cake and hot tarts.