If you’ve always wanted to hit the Appalachian Trail but never had the time, I’ve got some good news for you. Three letters: ATV! That’s right, friends. With the Trump administration’s new “drivable national parks” policy, you’re good to go. And don’t worry, if you don’t have an ATV, just take a motocross bike, or heck, if you’re feeling manly, see if that big-ass four-wheel truck cousin Cletus bought last year can make it. Drive on over to Great Smoky Mountains National Park and let her rip. You’ll be in scenic New Hampshire in no time. Hiking is for woke communist losers.
I wish I were joking, but I’m merely exaggerating — slightly.
In 2001, President Bill Clinton signed the federal Roadless Area Conservation Rule, which banned new road construction and most commercial logging on 58 million acres of national forest land in 39 states. The purpose was to preserve public land and protect its water and wildlife habitat. The Trump administration has moved to overturn that rule by executive order and opened national forest land to mining, logging, and other commercial development. In brief, Trump is turning over our public property to his corporate pals.
But it gets worse. Trump and his greed-fueled goons are also overturning the “Travel Management Rule” that impacts 40 million acres in national forests and parks. That rule designated usage areas for skiers, hikers, hunters, snowmobilers, and ATV users. Now, it’s out the window. Want to hike a pristine wilderness trail unmarred by motorcycle noise? Sorry, hippie.
In July, Trump signed an executive order reducing the size of Bears Ears National Monument in Utah by 90 percent and opened it up to development and mining. Trump also disbanded the Bears Ears Commission, made up of members of five Native American tribes, and ordered the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) to remove all tribal seals and boundary signs. Too woke, I guess.
Bulldozers working under a no-bid contract have spent the past couple of weeks ravaging the beautiful and fragile ecology of Big Bend National Park in Texas in order to build a border wall where no one crosses the border due to the mountainous terrain. The administration ignored (“waived”) all environmental, cultural, and historical preservation laws without any input from the public or Congress. And if you think the company doing the destruction didn’t make a nice seven-figure contribution to Fearless Leader for the privilege of doing so, I have some public land to sell you.
Sensing a pattern here? The bottom line (literally) is that under Trump our public lands and their resources are for sale to the highest no-bidder. And we haven’t even gotten to the wild horses yet.
In 1971, Congress declared wild horses “living symbols of the historic and pioneer spirit of the West” and passed a law placing them in the government’s care. There was not one dissenting vote. The BLM’s official policy is “not to sell or send any wild horses or burros to slaughter.” They are sold or destroyed only as a last resort — if a horse gets too old, for example — but even then they aren’t supposed to be sold for meat. That policy is now being ignored.
The New York Times reported last week that under Trump, wild horses sold by the government are turning up at slaughter auctions still wearing the government’s brand. In 2025 alone, according to the Times, the BLM sold around 3,700 horses, most of them to slaughterhouses, where the meat is then sent to China.
Oddly enough, it was just last Friday that Trump announced a big “beef” deal that would “allow up to 300,000 metric tons of ground beef to be imported … and sold at 25 percent below current market prices.” When asked who the deal was with and where the beef would come from, Trump refused to answer. Surely, you don’t think … China? Nah. You’d need a lot more than 3,700 horses to come up with 300,000 tons of ground meat. So it’s probably beef, right? And surely it’s been inspected to USDA standards. Trump wouldn’t bend regulations just to make a buck, would he? Ehh. When you bite into a Trump Mystery Burger, you’ll just have to trust that the president of the United States has your best interests at heart. Like he always does.
