Thursday, July 16, 2015

Ten "Go Set a Watchman" Spoilers Guaranteed to Spoil Your "Go Set a Watchman" Experience

Posted By on Thu, Jul 16, 2015 at 10:44 AM

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SPOILER ALERT: DO NOT READ!!! THIS LIST IS NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF SPOILERS!!! THAT WILL SPOIL YOUR READING EXPERIENCE!!! IF YOU READ THEM!!!


1. In her new novel Go Set a Watchman author Harper Lee gives Atticus Finch breasts

2. In Harper Lee's new novel Atticus Finch drives a red Miata.
3. The new Harper Lee novel gives Atticus Finch a talking dog named Mr. Rumples.
 4. In Harper Lee's new novel, Atticus Finch is played by Jack Black.
5. In the new Harper Lee novel Atticus Finch loses his fight with Apollo Creed, but wins our hearts.
6. In the new Harper Lee novel Atticus Finch reveals himself to be Sucitta Hcnif, a shape shifting half-demon from the funk dimension. He claims he was sent here to, "funking get down."
7. In the new Harper Lee novel Atticus Finch has a Prince Albert piercing.
8. The new Harper Lee novel gives Atticus Finch a lightsaber.
9. In the new Harper Lee novel Atticus Finch is a little too into Sleater Kinny.
10. The new Harper Lee novel gives Atticus Finch a pretext for war with Sweden.


BONUS: In Harper Lee's  new novel Atticus Finch ruins everything for everybody, especially English teachers. 

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