Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Deep Thoughts
Posted by Bruce VanWyngarden on Tue, Dec 29, 2009 at 10:44 PM
We at the Flyer are taking a week off to recharge for the new year. But I have had some thoughts and perhaps you will enjoy them.
1. I think you should mentally say "That's what she said," after reading a fortune cookie fortune. "In bed" is so tired. Here's an example from a cookie I just ate: "A big surprise awaits you." See?
2. I keep hearing about Starry Nights... Starry Nights is wonderful. Starry Nights sucks. Etc. etc. I went today at lunch to see for myself. Not impressed.
3. I really wish the media would do some, you know, end of the decade, end of the year lists. That would
be cool.
4. Top 10 Reasons a Week Off at Christmas Rules: no alarm, pajamas, a morning fire, a second java pot, happy dogs, sunbeams on the floor, a big ol' Gibson guitar, thick socks, a quiet house, and rubbing it in when you see people who have to work.
5. The new Sherlock Holmes movie is cool, but loud. Robert Downey is impossible not to watch. Except if Rachel McAdams is around.
6. I made Paula Deen's green bean casserole for Christmas dinner and lived. Sweet butter of God!
7. I saw where some old lady tackled the Pope just short of a first down. The Vatican hasn't had a decent left tackle in years. Somebody needs to cover the pontiff's blind side. Who were they playing anyway, Little Sisters of the Poor? Oh wait ...
8. I should probably go back to being on vacation now.
Comments (36)
Showing 1-25 of 36
Where the hell else are you gonna find Paula Deen, The Vatican, Gibson guitars and a bare-assed editor drinking coffee in his socks? And all of this and more in less than 250 words! By the way, last night my fortune cookie said "Soon you will be sitting on top of the world..."
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Thanks for letting us know y'all are taking the week off. Now we can trash the place.
You got a new Gibson for xmas? You suck...all I got was a guitar stand. AND I have to work this week.
No new guitar, Phlo. Just my trusty ol' J-45, which is closing in on being the longest relationship of my adult life. Got a bag of fortune cookies, though. The latest: "Endurance and persistence will be rewarded."
Wondering around the Flyer Offices when no one is there is very interesting. The odd Chia Pet collection is disturbing. The Fidel Castro bobble head is cute. The letters lying around to Bianca, all in the same handwriting, are funny. You guys should really change the alarm code, Bosco, is obvious.
Zip, I'm on my way down there to pick up my payback. You better not be messing with my Al Gore global-warming coffee mug.
Zip: Be sure to check out Bruce's collection of old Mrs. Miller albums. They're in his bottom right desk drawer with the Operation board game.
After you pulled the Franken poster off the wall you will have noticed a tunnel behind it. Bruce likes to pretend he's Andy in "The Shawshank Redemption." Weird.
I in inadvertently doubled the butter in my pecan pie, so it has been aptly named the Paula Deen Pecan Pie now. Not that this tidbid has anything to do with the topic, I just felt left out.
My new year's wish is that the words "exclusive," "exclusively" and any synonyms thereof are banned from the news media's vocabulary. Between the Today show crew and our local media, those terms have been rendered meaningless. I now define "exclusive" as "something that everybody has, but one person/entity/organization claims is theirs alone."
Bruce, that Al Gore global warming coffee cup is a hoax. It doesn't really keep your coffee warm. You coffee is actually going through a cooling period.
Sorry to butt in to this apparently insiders' conversation, but can someone please explain Paula Deen to me? What is this woman's reason for being? Best I can figure, it's to show that fat, Southern, redneck women can cook just like their genteel, high-brow (even after stints in the "big house") Connecticut counterparts. Who knew? I apologize in advance, but I think she is further validation of the adage about putting lipstick on a pig.
Paula Deen is a Manchurian cook, brainwashed by the dairy industry and sent amongst us. Unfortunately, when we're all dead from clogged arteries, there will be nobody left to buy butter.
Paula had/has her own restaurant somewhere and got herself a show on FoodNetwork, I think through Gordon Elliot, because she is just so doggone charming and folksy/homey. Peoples love her.
And her recipes actually work, unlike some of the other show hosts.
I heard that she is a former sufferer of agoraphobia. If true, it would be a remarkable change.
Jeff,
She did, for like 20 years. Had horrible panic attacks starting after the death of her father when she was 19. She didn't actually become a full-time professional cooking person until she was in her 40s.
Is that an equal opportunity fortune cooke, Boss? Because if it ain't, you are snoozing through the demolition of Elvis's Favorite Playground. Let it be on You, Mister Fourth Estate. Happy New Year -- your editorial-sized tasseled loafers need re-SOUL-ing.
http://savethepippin.com/
They tore down Yankee Stadium, they can tear down the Pippen. It's time to move on.
Snurgh, whort, sniff ... Sorry, I was just snoozing through the Libertyland demolition again. HEY, who took my tassled loafers and left these stupid clown shoes?
If Elvis loved the Pippin so much, maybe Graceland could buy it and move it there.
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