Hot and Bothered
Twilight puts teen heartthrobs at angsty arms length.
She: High school junior just relocated to Forks, Washington, to live with her nonverbal, sheriff dad. Shes pretty and quiet and accident-prone and trying to make some new friends. And then she sees him walk into the cafeteria.
He: High school junior who lives with his mysterious, monochromatic-clothed family in the countryside. Hes got bleach-white skin and purple lips and gold-looking eyes below smirk-shaped eyebrows and he looks tortured by how sensitive he is. And then he sees her.
Unless youve been living in a world without Entertainment Weekly or teenage girls, then you know that she is Bella and he is Edward, and they are the hottest couple to happen to romantic fiction since Heathcliff and Catherine. Or something like that.
They star in Stephenie Meyers book series, of which Twilight is the first. And now its a movie. And how is it you dont know about this?
Well, in case you dont, here it is: Bella (Kristen Stewart) is a girl and she loves and is loved by Edward (Robert Pattinson). But theres a cactus in their relationship corner. You see, Edwards a vampire.
Thats about all you need to know, except that Ive hardly ever seen as much excitement from a movie audience as I did for Twilight. Youd have thought the Beatles had a pop-cultural baby with Oprah and Zac Efron. At a recent preview screening filled with teenaged girls, every beloved line and character and moment from the book was greeted with cheering and huzzahs. When Edward says, I dont have the strength to stay away from you anymore, the theater was swoon city. There were more girlish squeals than the opening night of a Star Wars prequel. It was contagious. I may have plotzed a little about Edward, as well. What can I say, Im a sucker for Clair de Lune, too.
The Twilight series is what has been filling the teen-consciousness void since Harry Potter exited stage right. Ive read all the Potters and have only seen but not read Twilight, so take this with a grain of salt, but: Meyers story isnt a seventh as clever as J.K. Rowlings. Twilight lacks all the little details and crackerjack fabulosities that make Rowlings tale behave like the fantastical real world its supposed to be. Also gone is any sense of wonderment the audience might be given over the lead characters induction into a hidden world behind the world. Its all just taken in stride, fairly ho-hum.
What it has instead is super hot sexy reciprocal obsession between a man and a woman. Or a girl and a hundred-year-old vampire. Whatever. Love has rarely been so urgent, so angsty, so perilous, so breathsucking as that between Bella and Edward. Which is how it really feels when you're in the moment, so score one for Twilight.
And theres is a super hot sexy chaste obsession. Oh, sure, they kiss. Twice. But Bella and Edward dont get much past first base.
Twilight is directed by Catherine Hardwicke, who made the teens-in-peril Thirteen and the teens-in-purity The Nativity Story. In Twilight, Hardwicke splits the difference. Bella's life is literally in danger the closer she gets to Edward. He may not to be able to stop himself once he gets going. And so they just hover near each other for two hours, breathing each others air and keeping their hands to themselves.
Therein lies my one true gripe with Twilight. The plot keeps the feted couple in an annoying push-pull limbo; Edward keeps coming up to Bella and telling her to leave him alone. Hardwicke reinforces it as the characters are constantly moving toward and away from each other, even in casual conversation, and the camera keeps moving toward one at the expense of the other. Hardwickes direction is like a game of one-upsmanship. Toss in the many impossibly tight close-ups, and it makes you just want to shake some sense into these kids.
Its also got a Google-search/dream-sequence montage, for heavens sake, and a totally silly baseball action scene, but none of it really matters. Twilight is totally critic-proof. n