When is a nudist not a nudist? When he is an exhibitionist. When “Adam” and I first met, we were both enthusiastic naturalists. Our relationship flourished because we could share in this passion. We went on trips to nude beaches and naturalist camps whenever and wherever we could, including some really wonderful, dream vacations to faraway places. Under those beautiful, romantic tropical conditions it was almost impossible not to fall hopelessly in love.
I honestly think Adam was a true nudist back then, but recently he has become more and more the exhibitionist. It began with him slipping out of the house into the backyard late at night. Then it moved to the front porch. We live in a bungalow with a privacy fence and a deep front porch on a dark street, so I could live with that and even sometimes join him after a few drinks to get my courage up. It was still fun. Then it moved on to sex on the front porch, which was sometimes fun. And then to sex in even more public areas, even during the day, even when doing so is extremely risky. It is no longer any fun at all. I’m scared to death of getting caught, but he gets so frustrated when I complain. He says I’ve lost my free spirit. There have been too many close calls, but every time we’re nearly caught, he seems to want to go even farther the next time. How am I going to face my parents and my employees if I end up getting caught and going to jail?
I know I helped create this monster by not putting a stop to it before it went too far. How can I get back to where we were without losing him?
How can I possibly help you when you’re being so vague? I must have details. I cannot pontificate without data, including future times and locations. I kid.
I wonder if you can put the cork back in this bottle of champagne. I also wonder if you could have stopped it from popping in the first place. If his obsession is as strong as you suggest, he was going to find ways to express it — with or without you. All you can do now is tell him how you feel, as straightforwardly and honestly as you can. Talk to him about your fears. You haven’t lost your free spirit, but you do have people who will lose respect for you if they find out what he’s making you do. Growing up and taking on responsibility is a balancing act between who you want to be and who you have to be.
If he won’t listen and continues his evil ways, maybe a night in jail will finally give him the thrill he’s seeking. You are under no obligation to join him in the joint, but you might have to bail him out. If nothing else, it will give you two something to talk about when you’re too old to be arrested.
Got a problem? Jack Waggon will set you straight: firstname.lastname@example.org